Friends (TV Series)

The One with the Birth (1995)

David Schwimmer: Dr. Ross Geller

Photos 

Quotes 

• Ross : Damn it! This is all your fault! This was supposed to be like the greatest day of my life, you know. My son is being born and... I should be in there, you know. Instead I'm stuck in a closet with you.

  Susan : The woman I love is having a baby today. I've been waiting for this just as much as you have.

  Ross : No, believe me, no one has been waiting for this just as much as I have. Okay, and you know what the funny thing is? When this thing is over, you get to go home with the baby, okay. Where does that leave me?

  Susan : You get to be the baby's father. Everyone knows who you are. And who am I? There's Fathers Day, there's Mothers Day, there's no... Lesbian Lover Day.

  Ross : [exasperated]  Every day is Lesbian Lover Day.

• Ross : I don't believe this, she could be giving birth in a cab!

  Rachel : Oh, Ross, relax. It's probably like $2 for the first contraction and then 50 cents each additional contraction.

  [Ross glares at her] 

  Rachel : What? It's okay when Chandler does it?

  Chandler : You have to pick your moments.

• Ross : [Closing scene; the camera is positioned as though it were Ben's eyes]  Ben, I want you to know that there may be some times when I may not be around, like this.

  Ross : [Walks out of the picture but returns]  But I'll still always come back, like this.

  Ross : And sometimes I may be away longer, like this.

  Ross : [Walks away longer but returns]  But I'll still always come back, like this.

  Chandler : [Chandler comes into the picture and motions his hands]  And sometimes, I'll want you to steal third, and I'll go like this.

• Ross : [Phoebe has climbed into a vent, with her legs hanging out; a janitor opens the broom closet door]  Phoebs, it's open! It's open!

  The Janitor : [Ross and Susan run to the delivery room, leaving Phoebe dangling from the vent]  Wait! You forgot your legs!

• Ross : [Ross, Susan and Phoebe are stuck in a broom closet; Ross pounds on the door]  Help! Help!

  Phoebe Buffay : [singing]  They found their bodies the very next day / They found their bodies the very next day.

  Ross , Susan : [louder]  Help! Help!