- Chandler: Yo, paisan. Can I talk to you for a sec? Your tailor... is a very bad man!
- Joey: Frankie? What are you talking about?
- [Ross enters and touches Chandler on the shoulder, who flinches]
- Ross: Hey, what's going on?
- Chandler: Joey's tailor... took advantage of me.
- Ross: What?
- Joey: No way. I've been going to the guy for 12 years.
- Chandler: Oh, come on. He said he was going to do my inseam, and then he ran his hand up my leg, and then there was definite... cupping.
- Joey: That's how they do pants! First they go up one side, they move it over, then they go up the other side, they move it back, and then they do the rear.
- Joey: [Chandler and Ross stare at him] ... What? Ross, would you tell him? Isn't that how a tailor measure pants?
- Ross: Yes. Yes, it is... In prison! What's the matter with you?
- [after Monica gets a disastrous haircut]
- Ross: How's Monica?
- Phoebe: She's calmed down a bit. I put a clip on one side, which seems to have stopped the curling.
- Ross: How's the hair?
- Phoebe: I'm not gonna lie to you, Ross - it doesn't look good.
- Joey: Can we see her?
- Phoebe: No, your hair looks too good; I think it would only upset her.
- Rachel: Oh.
- Phoebe: Ross, you can go on in.
- [Phoebe is cutting Monica's hair]
- Phoebe: Relax; I know what I'm doing - this is how *he* wears it.
- Monica: How who wears it?
- Phoebe: Demi Moore.
- Monica: Demi Moore is not a he.
- Phoebe: Well, he was *he* in "Arthur" and in "10", eh.
- Monica: That's Dudley Moore! I said I wanted it like Demi Moore!
- Phoebe: Oh... Oh!
- Monica: Oh, my god!
- Phoebe: I'm sorry - I'm sorry! Which one is Demi Moore?
- Monica: *She's* the actress, who was in "Disclosure", "Indecent Proposal", and "Ghost".
- Phoebe: Oh! Oh, she's got gorgeous hair.
- Monica: I know!
- Ross: [Rachel has just met Ross's Asian girlfriend] Rachel, this is Julie. I met her in China.
- Ross: [notices Rachel has brought flowers] What are those?
- Rachel: Oh, these?
- Rachel: [begins speaking slowly and distinctly to Julie] These are for you! Welcome to our country.
- Julie: [slowly and distinctly] Thank you; I'm from New York.
- Rachel: [sticking her head out of her bedroom] Uh... morning! Hey, you guys think you could close your eyes for just a sec?
- Joey: [grabbing his pants] Oh, no no no no no! I'm not falling for that again!
- Phoebe: What's going on?
- Rachel: Well, I sorta did a stupid thing last night...
- Chandler: What stupid thing did you do?
- Paolo: [coming out of Rachel's bedroom] Buon giorno, tutti!
- [end lines]
- Julie: I was thinking of doing it shorter, like Andie MacDowell's haircut.
- Phoebe: Oh, yeah. Oh, I could do that.
- Julie: Really?
- Phoebe: Yeah. You wanna do it now?
- Julie: Great!
- Phoebe: Okay.
- Julie: Okay.
- [to Rachel]
- Julie: See you.
- Phoebe: [when Julie's out] Okay, I just wanna make really sure this time. Andie MacDowell is the girl from Four Weddings and a Funeral, right?
- Rachel: No... No, no, no, no, no, no. That's Roddy McDowall. Andie MacDowell is the guy from Planet of the Apes.
- Phoebe: Oh! Yeah, okay.
- Rachel: Yeah. Okay?
- Phoebe: Thank you.
- Rachel: You're welcome.
- Rachel: Oh. Ugh! Joey, when I saw him getting off that plane with her, I really thought I just hit rock bottom. But today, it's like there's rock bottom, fifty feet of crap, then me.