Friends (TV Series)
The One Where No One's Ready (1996)
Tom Selleck: Dr. Richard Burke
Quotes
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Phoebe : [positions her Christmas arrangement to cover the stain on her dress as Monica runs into the room and over to the answering machine] Ross went to get a cab so we can all..
[Monica starts dialling]
Phoebe : [looks up] What are you doing? No Monica! No!
[phone calls Richard's number and his recorded message answers]
Dr. Richard Burke : [on the answering machine] Hi. This is Richard.
[Monica enters a code and the recorded message stops]
Answering Machine : You have 3 new messages.
Monica Geller : [enters another code as Phoebe sits on the table] Not anymore!
Answering Machine : Message list.
[Monica enters another code]
Answering Machine : To record a new message, begin speaking at the tone.
Monica Geller : [picks up the phone] Hi Richard, it's Monica um, listen I-I did something kind of crazy tonight um.. maybe I'm getting my period or something I don't know. Anyway uh... I-I beeped into your machine and I heard this message that-that freaked me out and um.. You know what? Michele will tell you the rest. I-I-I-I'm sorry OK? And I hope that we can forget the whole thing. OK, bye.
[Monica hangs and sighs in relief]
Answering Machine : The Outgoing message has now been changed.
Monica Geller : [shocked] Outgoing? Did that say *Outgoing*? Not Outgoing!
[Monica quickly dials Richard's number and the message she meant to leave for Richard turns out to be the new recorded message on his answering machine]
Answering Machine : [Monica's voice] Hi Richard, it's Monica um, listen I-I did something kind of crazy tonight um.. maybe I'm getting my period or something...
[Monica and Phoebe looked shocked at each other]
Monica Geller : [hastily pressing buttons on the machine] NO!
Phoebe : How did you do that?
Monica Geller : [incredulous] I don't know!
Answering Machine : Goodbye.
Monica Geller : [screams] NO!
Ross : [enters the apartment, completely unaware of what's just happened] OK. OK. I've got two cabs and no people. Go! Go! Go!
Monica Geller : [quiet but frantic] Maybe we can call the Phone Company. Maybe they can change the message. Maybe they can change his number.
Phoebe : [assuring] Yeah. I think after this, he'll be going that *himself*.
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[after Ross's message, Monica's answering machine beeps twice]
Dr. Richard Burke : [on the answering machine] Monica, it's Richard. Call me.
[Monica looks startled and all the friends look at her]
Monica Geller : [emotionally] I-is, is that message old or new?
[no one says anything]
Monica Geller : [shouts] OLD OR NEW? OLD OR NEW?
Ross : [goes over to Monica as the other friends jump] It's old. It's *definitely* old. Didn't you-you hear the double beep?
Monica Geller : [frantic] Well, what if it's new? I mean, we agreed not to talk! He could have something really important to say. Shouldn't I call him back?
Chandler : Honey, you did call him back 'cause it's... it's really old.
Ross : [comforts Monica] Yeah. See, Mon' listen. Listen. When Carol and I broke up, I went through the same thing and you know what I did?
Monica Geller : [emotionally] Huh?
Ross : [assuring] I got dressed.
[Ross kindly ushers Monica and Rachel into their rooms]