Friends (TV Series)

The One Where Monica Gets a Roommate (1994)

Courteney Cox: Monica Geller

Photos 

Quotes 

• Monica : [wide grin on her face]  Did you get any sleep? Did you talk to Barry? I can't stop smiling.

  Rachel : I know, it looks like you slept with a hanger in your mouth.

• Rachel : I know that you and I kinda drifted apart, but you're the only person I knew who lived here in the city

  Monica : Who wasn't invited to the wedding...?

  Rachel : Oh, I was kinda hoping that wouldn't be an issue.

• [Rachel is supposed to be cutting up her credit cards] 

  Everybody : Cut, cut, cut, cut.

  Rachel : [cuts a card]  You know what? I think we can leave it at that. It was kind of a symbolic gesture...

  Monica : Rachel, that was a library card.

  [Everybody cheers her on, and she reluctantly cuts a credit card] 

  Chandler : You know, if you listen closely, you can hear a thousand retailers scream.

• Monica : Paul, this is everybody. Everybody, this is Paul.

  Joey : Hey, Paul, the wine guy.

  Ross : Hey, Paul.

  Phoebe : Hey, Paul.

  Rachel : Hi, Paul.

  Chandler : I'm sorry, I didn't catch your name. Paul, was it?

• Phoebe : Ooh, ugh.

  [as Ross sits down on the sofa, Pheobe begins "cleansing his aura"] 

  Ross : Oh, no, no. Stop cleansing my aura.

  Phoebe : But...

  [she continues to "cleanse his aura"] 

  Ross : No, just leave my aura alone, okay?

  Phoebe : Fine. Be murky.

  Ross : I'll be fine, really, you guys. I hope she'll be very happy.

  Monica : No, you don't.

  Ross : No, I don't! To hell with her! She left me!

  Joey : You never knew she was a lesbian?

  Ross : [stares at Joey]  No! Okay? Why does everyone keep fixating on that? She didn't know. How should I know?

  Chandler : Sometimes I wish I was a lesbian.

  [everyone stares at Chandler] 

  Chandler : Did I say that out loud?

• Monica : Welcome to the real world. It sucks. You're gonna love it.

• Joey : [Monica has slept with Paul the Wine Guy on the first date]  That 'wasn't a real date.' What the hell do you do on a real date?

  Monica : Shut up and move my table back.

• Monica : Why? Why would anybody do something like that?

  Ross : We're looking for an answer more sophisticated than: "To get you into bed."

  Monica : Is it me? Is it like I have some sort of beacon that only dogs and men with severe emotional problems can hear?

• Rachel : So, like you guys all have jobs?

  Monica : Yeah we all have jobs, that's how we buy stuff.

• Monica : You can't live off your parents your whole life.

  Rachel : I know that. That's why I was getting married.

• Monica : [after Paul the Wine Guy tricked her]  I hate men! *I hate men!*

  Phoebe : Oh, no, don't hate. You don't wanna put that out into the universe.

• Rachel : Oh, and wish me luck.

  Monica : What for?

  Rachel : I'm gonna go get one of those... job things.