Frasier (TV Series)

Miss Right Now (2004)

Kelsey Grammer: Dr. Frasier Crane

Photos 

Quotes 

• Dr. Frasier Crane : Well, there's this woman I can't seem to get off of my mind. A woman with a boyfriend.

  Ronee Lawrence : Why don't you just get her drunk and see what happens?

  Dr. Frasier Crane : You are nothing like my mother.

• Martin Crane : Plus, I'm startin' out with one strike against me.

  Ronee Lawrence : Mother still remembers a night he drove me home from babysitting you and Niles, thirty years ago...

  Martin Crane : Forty years ago.

  Ronee Lawrence : I'm telling this story. I was all weepy because this guy had just dumped me, and your father put his arm around me, just to be nice. And Mom saw it and she thought he was trying to rob me of my virtue.

  Dr. Frasier Crane : [chuckling]  Oh, that's crazy.

  Ronee Lawrence : I know, like there was anything left to rob.

  [They all laugh] 

• Daphne Moon : I guess he's got the fast food bug.

  Dr. Frasier Crane : And which one would that be? E. coli?

  Dr. Niles Crane : Now, keep an open mind. After all, we've embraced the peasant cuisine of Italy and France, why shun the peasants in our own back yard?

  Dr. Frasier Crane : You've changed, Niles.

  Daphne Moon : He hasn't changed that much. He sent back his Big Slurp.

• Kim : This is fun. But, I'm kinda thinkin' that I'd like to go someplace a little less... crowded.

  Dr. Frasier Crane : Okay. Uh, well, thank you, I enjoyed our time together.

  Kim : No, I meant someplace... a little more private.

  Dr. Frasier Crane : No, I understand completely. I take no offence.

  Kim : Your place.

  Dr. Frasier Crane : Oh, yes, yes indeed. Well, should we go together to my place or...? Well, you must have your own car so I could give you directions or, well, we could drive together and then I could drive you back here or we could drive together and then you could get a cab back here...

  Kim : [Kim puts her hand over his mouth]  I don't care how we get there, let's just get there!

• Kim : The first few months I was a wreck. We were engaged. At least, I was. But now, I know I'm ready to move on.

  [suggestively] 

  Kim : Really, really ready.

  Dr. Frasier Crane : You know, it's kind of funny. I'm actually trying to get over someone myself, in a manner of speaking.

  Kim : And you thought she was the one, right?

  Dr. Frasier Crane : Well, she may have been. I'm just trying to put her out of my mind, right now. I must say, you're proving to be a delightful distraction.

  Kim : Well, that's not the nicest thing anybody's ever called me in a bar. But it's not the worst.

• [first lines] 

  Ronee Lawrence : Hey, you're up early. Rain wake you?

  Dr. Frasier Crane : Oh, no, just a little preoccupied.

  Ronee Lawrence : Well, if there's something on your mind you can tell me. Won't be long before I'm your mom.

  Dr. Frasier Crane : I was actually gonna tell you before you said that.

• Martin Crane : You all right?

  Dr. Frasier Crane : No.

  Martin Crane : Want to talk about it?

  [He makes a face] 

  Martin Crane : Whew! I gotta get this chair cleaned.

  Dr. Frasier Crane : She doesn't want me, she wants somebody else. I don't have a chance.

  Martin Crane : Oh, I'm sorry.

  [beat] 

  Martin Crane : That's the second one, right?

  Dr. Frasier Crane : Yeah.

  Martin Crane : So, what are you gonna do?

  Dr. Frasier Crane : Well, that's a good question: What am I gonna do? I suppose I could pine over her for the next several weeks, make myself more miserable every day. Or I could do the sensible thing and just let her go.

  [rising] 

  Dr. Frasier Crane : Excuse me.

  [He grabs the cordless phone and dials, pacing] 

  Dr. Frasier Crane : Hi, Charlotte, it's Frasier. About coffee on Monday? Let's just forget that. How 'bout lunch instead?

  [Martin gives him a smile and a wink of approval] 

• Dr. Frasier Crane : Wow, Roz, did you feel that? The entire room changed when we walked in. It's like animals in the wild sensing a predator had arrived.

  Roz Doyle : Good, I like that you're confident.

  Dr. Frasier Crane : No, I was talking about you.

• Roz Doyle : Okay, now look, this is the drill: I brought you here to get your mind off of Charlotte. Everyone's here for the same reason, so just pick someone and be yourself.

  Dr. Frasier Crane : Okay. What name should I use?

• Dr. Frasier Crane : And, truth be told, I'm not sure why I'm so obsessed with her, I barely even know her. Niles, listen, is it possible that this is just a case of transference?

  Dr. Niles Crane : Oh, interesting. Uh, hmm... a matchmaker's not unlike a therapist. You confide in them, seek guidance. It's only natural you'd develop a little crush on her.

  Dr. Frasier Crane : Yes, precisely! Now, how many times has a patient fallen for you?

  Dr. Niles Crane : ...You first.

  Dr. Frasier Crane : Oh, don't be such a baby. This is not a competition.

  Dr. Niles Crane : Eleven.

  Dr. Frasier Crane : Thirteen. You know, this is really a weight of my shoulders. It's just simple transference. Thank you, Niles.

  Dr. Niles Crane : [rising]  Yes, well, I'm glad to be of help. You know, when I said eleven earlier, actually I...

  Dr. Frasier Crane : [laughing]  Too late, Niles, off you go.

• Kim : I've got a little outfit you might like.

  Dr. Frasier Crane : The littler it is, the more I like it.

  Kim : I love it when I say something and then you say something funny.

• Ronee Lawrence : [about her mother]  If she sees me like dressed this, she'd know that I spent the night and then she'd be carping about it the whole weekend.

  Dr. Frasier Crane : What, she doesn't approve of pre-marital sex?

  Ronee Lawrence : Judging by the diving bell she wore as a nightgown, she wasn't real big on post-marital sex either.

• [after Martin, Ronee, and Ronee's mother catch Frasier in an embarrassing situation] 

  Ronee Lawrence : [mock stern]  You may get away with this now, young man, but once I'm your mother...

  Dr. Frasier Crane : Oh, get out!

• Frank : I raised some eagle hatchlings when their mother was killed by a hunter and now we're going to go release them in the wild.

  Roz Doyle : How can you tell when it's time?

  Charlotte : Well, one of them ate his landlord's cat.

  Dr. Frasier Crane : You know, if they're still hungry, my dad has a dog.

• Kim : Wow. Nice place. You really are a doctor.

  Dr. Frasier Crane : Yes. Would you like the tour?

  Kim : [suggestively]  I don't know. What do you want to show me?

  Dr. Frasier Crane : [playing along, hesitantly]  I don't know. Uh, what do you want to see?

  Kim : What would you like me to see?

  Dr. Frasier Crane : Whatever you came here to see.

  Kim : And what did I come here to see?

  Dr. Frasier Crane : Is there and end to this? Because I'm starting to feel redundant on my part.

• Ronee Lawrence : You may get away with this now, young man, but once I'm your mother...

  Dr. Frasier Crane : Oh, get out!

• Dr. Frasier Crane : What the hell are you two doing here?

  Dr. Niles Crane : Well, we came to cheer you up with some late night fast food.

  [He holds out a bag] 

  Dr. Niles Crane : If anything's gonna make you forget a woman, it's a big Double Juicy.

  Daphne Moon : Please, take it. If you don't, he will. I've created a monster. He's already had two chimichangas and a You Ain't Nothin' But a Corndog.

  Dr. Niles Crane : All for less than

  [uncomfortable burp] 

  Dr. Niles Crane : four dollars. Where has this food been all my life?

  Dr. Frasier Crane : On the end of a coroner's artery scraper!