Frasier (TV Series)
And Frasier Makes Three (2004)
David Hyde Pierce: Dr. Niles Crane
Quotes
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Dr. Frasier Crane : I am meeting Charlotte for lunch and I'm planning my strategy on how to win her over.
Dr. Niles Crane : I thought you said she has a boyfriend, this environmentalist fellow.
Dr. Frasier Crane : Yes, Frank.
Dr. Niles Crane : So, what's your plan to get around him?
Dr. Frasier Crane : I'm merely going to present myself as the anti-Frank.
Dr. Niles Crane : Ah. So you're going to be not rugged and not handsome. Interesting.
Dr. Frasier Crane : No.
Dr. Niles Crane : You're also going to be not passionate and not committed.
Dr. Frasier Crane : Very funny.
Dr. Niles Crane : Maybe she'd like you if you were not interesting and not informed.
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Dr. Frasier Crane : Frank injured himself on our hike, so I've got Charlotte all to myself this evening. I'm not going to waste this opportunity. I'm going to make her a romantic dinner and then tell her how I feel about her.
Martin Crane : Wow, really?
Dr. Niles Crane : Are you sure she's ready for that?
Dr. Frasier Crane : Well, I don't know, but I can't stand this ridiculous threesome anymore. You know, the worst part is how completely unthreatening Frank finds me. As if I'm some sort of a harem eunuch.
Daphne Moon : How'd he hurt himself, anyway?
Dr. Frasier Crane : Well, he strained his back carrying me over a brook.
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Dr. Frasier Crane : Charlotte, hi. You remember my brother Niles.
Dr. Niles Crane : Yes, Charlotte, how are you?
Charlotte : Oh, hello. Well, frustrated. Been selling this guy all over town, but no one's buying.
Dr. Niles Crane : Well, perhaps if you threw in a toaster.
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Dr. Frasier Crane : [looking through Charlotte's bag] That's interesting. An anthology of Irish plays. Perfect!
Dr. Niles Crane : What do you know about Irish plays?
Dr. Frasier Crane : Nothing. But not for long. There's one area where no man has ever bested me, Niles: homework!