Fawlty Towers (TV Series)

Basil the Rat (1979)

Brian Hall: Terry

Photos 

Quotes 

• [Terry is examining a piece of possibly-poisoned veal the cat had been chewing on] 

  Terry : Right! Now, how's the cat?

  Basil Fawlty : [Incredulously]  How's the c...? How's the cat? We're about to take the life of a public health inspector and you want to know "how's the cat"? IT'S GONE TO LONDON TO SEE THE QUEEN! What're we going to do?

  Polly : [bringing in the cat]  He's fine!

  Terry : Great!

  Basil Fawlty : [leaping about hysterically]  HOORAY! HOORAY! THE CAT LIVES! THE CAT LIVES! LONG LIVE THE CAT! What are we going to DO?

  Terry : Mr. Fawlty - if the cat is all right, that means that slice is all right.

• Terry : I HAVEN'T MADE ANY BLEEDIN' RATATOUILLE!

• Terry : What the eye don't see, the chef gets away with.

• Mr. Carnegie : I couldn't help noticing you had some veal over here...

  Basil Fawlty : Veal?

  Sybil Fawlty : Yes, it's Dutch.

  Basil Fawlty : Well, it's not Dutch, actually. It's, uh, Norwegian.

  Sybil Fawlty : Norwegian?

  Basil Fawlty : Yes. Not the absolute apex, quite honestly.

  Sybil Fawlty : Terry, the veal is Dutch, isn't it?

  Terry : Norwegian, Mrs. Fawlty.

  Mr. Carnegie : I've been in this business 20 years, I've never heard of Norwegian veal.

  Basil Fawlty : Well, they've only just branched into it. You know, I don't think it's a winner, frankly, more of a veal substitute. It's got a lot of air pockets in it, that sort of thing.

• Polly : He must have escaped, Mr Fawlty, and come back.

  Basil Fawlty : Come back?

  Polly : They home.

  Basil Fawlty : Oh, I see. He's a homing rat, is he?

  Terry : Oh, yeah. Rats are amazing creatures, Mr. Fawlty. I read about one once. His owner had gone down to Penzance...

  Basil Fawlty : Yes, yes. I read about that. When the chef got filleted with his own carving knife?

• Basil Fawlty : Terry, this kitchen is filthy!

  Terry : Filthy Towers, eh?

  Basil Fawlty : Now, look...

  Terry : All kitchens are filthy, Mr. Fawlty. In fact, the better the kitchen, the filthier it is. Have you ever read George Orwell's experiences at Maxim's in Paris?

  Basil Fawlty : No, do you have a copy? I'll read it out in court.