Duckman: Private Dick/Family Man (TV Series)

Papa Oom M.O.W. M.O.W. (1995)

Jason Alexander: Eric Duckman

Quotes 

• Eric Duckman : [looking out his window]  Look, the traffic copter sky babe! Hey mama, how 'bout landing on my zero-niner? I'll wear a windsock!

  [the copter crashes] 

  Eric Duckman : Just goes to show: You need to use all your fingers to fly a copter.

• Eric Duckman : [to three busty women]  I look at breasts. Y- and, I, I'm a detective. Hehe. But mainly the breast thing.

  [women: "Oh cool!"] 

  Eric Duckman : [to Cornfed]  It's times like this I wish I had a penis.

• Eric Duckman : Great Caesar's gumble, Corny! Can you believe it? $200 for a parking ticket!

  Cornfed Pig : You parked in a handicapped space.

  Eric Duckman : So what? No one ever notices, except the people who are supposed to park there, and hell, I can outrun them any day.

  Cornfed Pig : Extra police are here because the president is touring the neighborhood today. Perhaps they thought you looked suspicious.

  Eric Duckman : Suspicious? Me? Don't be ridiculous.

  [opens BItter Crazed Loner magazine] 

• Eric Duckman : Voters want to know about me, and there's only one movie that can tell 'em what really happened out there- mine! On USA.

  Bernice : USA? Are they on at night?

  Eric Duckman : Are you kidding? Dozens of people watch USA.

• Eric Duckman : [to a reporter asking if he's a pervert]  Listen, bucko: The ability of a nation to protect its leaders is its pride, its manhood. At the moment in question, I held the president's manhood in my hands, and I don't mind tellin' ya: It felt great! Does that make me a pervert? You decide.

  [to himself] 

  Eric Duckman : Let's see 'em twist THAT out of context.