Duckman: Private Dick/Family Man (TV Series)
Inherit the Judgment: The Dope's Trial (1995)
Gregg Berger: Cornfed Pig
Quotes
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Eric Duckman : Did you talk to my lawyer/urologist, Donald "The Shiv" Grillo?
Cornfed Pig : Yes, but he didn't answer back. He's dead. A rare case of peacetime fragging.
Eric Duckman : Damned Coast Guard reserve.
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Eric Duckman : Corny! Am I glad you're here! They stuck me in jail just because I said the egg came before the chicken.
Cornfed Pig : They disagree. It's heresy in this town to challenge their theory of chicken creationism - the deeply held belief that the chicken came before the egg. It's the same kind of mindless, intellectually bankrupt belief system once found in the Druids. Or the Reagan Administration.
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Cornfed Pig : Were you abused by your parents?
Eric Duckman : No.
Cornfed Pig : Teased at school?
Eric Duckman : No.
Cornfed Pig : A victim of racial rage?
Eric Duckman : No.
Cornfed Pig : Sexually harassed?
Eric Duckman : No.
Cornfed Pig : Fired for being chronically tardy?
Eric Duckman : No.
Cornfed Pig : Ever eat Twinkies?
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Cornfed Pig : Don't worry, Duckman. I'll see to it you get off - I mean, see to it you're found not guilty.
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Judge : Defense, cross?
Cornfed Pig : No, just a little peeved.
