Duckman: Private Dick/Family Man (TV Series)

Grandma-ma's Flatulent Adventure (1996)

Nancy Travis: Bernice, Grandma-ma

Quotes 

• Duckman : [enters whistling jauntily, but notices everyone giving him a death stare]  Oh, that's great! Why don't we all just sit around and point fingers at one another trying desperately to figure out who's to blame?

  Cornfed , Bernice , Ajax , Charles (Character) , Mambo : *YOU'RE* TO BLAME!

  Duckman : OK, that was fun, though I was thinking you'd take a tad longer.

• Duckman : [spoiler] 

  [reluctantly talking at Grandmama's funeral, shifting to a flashback] 

  Duckman : Well, okay... I guess I can talk about... the time at my wedding. It was, of course, a beautiful day. I was the epitome of class and distinction.

  [in the flashback, Duckman drunkenly dances foolishly at his wedding] 

  Duckman : Lord have mercy! Good gawd, y'all! Let's here get up and down by doing the funky duckman! You let your down down! You thrust your pelvis, huh! You thrust your pelvis, huh! You thrust your pelvis, huh! You thrust your pelvis, huh! Then Grandma-ma came over and whispered the strangest thing in my ear. She said eat more cheese. I didn't know what she meant so I continued my unique Bob Fosse-like styling.

  [he continues thrusting his pelvis and chanting, and the flashback ends] 

  Duckman : Wait a second, Grandma-ma didn't say eat more cheese, she said something just like it, it's easy to see how I could have confused the two.

  Grandmama : [the flashback continues]  Duckman, even though almost everyone else sees you as just psychotic street urchin, you're not fooling me. This horribly obnoxious act of yours is merely a defense. Deep down, you feel you're not deserving of anyone's love. Well, you're wrong. Welcome to our family, Duckman. You are loved.