Duckman: Private Dick/Family Man (TV Series)
Forbidden Fruit (1996)
Jason Alexander: Eric Duckman
Quotes
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Fluffy : Let's move on to the word association part of the test.
Eric Duckman : Breasts.
Uranus : Mr. Duckman we haven't st...
Eric Duckman : Breasts.
Fluffy : Dog.
Eric Duckman : Breasts.
Fluffy : White.
Eric Duckman : Breasts.
Fluffy : Peanut butter.
Eric Duckman : Breasts.
Fluffy : Tanzania
Eric Duckman : Breasts.
Fluffy : Communism.
Eric Duckman : Breasts.
Fluffy : Dolly Parton.
Eric Duckman : Bad hair.
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[Fluffy and Uranus are administering a test on Duckman to determine his sensitivity toward women]
Fluffy : Question one: women over the age of 18 are often referred to as girls. How should you refer to them?
Eric Duckman : Sweet potato?
Fluffy : No!
Eric Duckman : Love socket?
Fluffy : No!
Eric Duckman : Box lunch?
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Fluffy : Question two: when is it all right to kiss a woman?
Eric Duckman : When her husband leaves?
Fluffy : No!
Eric Duckman : When the sore heals?
Fluffy : No!
Eric Duckman : When she wakes up?
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Fluffy : [starting to get fed up with the way Duckman has been treating them and destroying their house and belongings] You have to treat people with respect Mr. Duckman whether it's what you say to them or how you act in their house!
Eric Duckman : [takes the fried eggs he made from their rare finch eggs] Uh huh, look these eggs need a little ketchup, is there anything else?
Uranus : [furious] As a matter of fact there is, get the f**k out of here Mr. Duckman!
Fluffy : [Duckman reacts in shock] You deaf Mr. A**hole! Get the f**k out of here before we tear your f***king n**ts off and shove em up your f**king ass!
[they point at the door and he sadly leaves]
Fluffy : Well that felt pretty f**king good!