Dr. Katz, Professional Therapist (TV Series)

Ben Treats (1997)

Jim Gaffigan: Jim

Quotes 

• Dr. Katz : Maybe what you need is a vacation, Jim.

  Jim Gaffigan : Well, I dunno, I don't like goin' on vacation, because then you feel like you have to... see everything.

  Dr. Katz : Yeah.

  Jim Gaffigan : Feel like you have to write everyone a postcard.

  Dr. Katz : Well...

  Jim Gaffigan : You could be a genius, you try and write a postcard, you look like a moron: "This city's got big buildings! I like food! Bye!"

• Jim Gaffigan : The manatee kinda looks like a guest on "The Ricki Lake Show", doesn't it? "Ricki, I can't get laid." And then somebody in the audience would offer up the advice: "Yeah, I wanna say something to the sea pig." "Uh, that's sea COW." "Whatever. You think you're all that because you're a fat seal and shit?" "I don't think I'm anything." "Yeah well, what you gotta do is get yourself an education and a job." "I live in the ocean." "You live in the ocean because you ain't go no JOB!" "I don't know what you're talking about." "You're fat, you gotta get Weight Watchers." "I have a layer of blubber to keep me warm in the water." "Whatever, talk to my hand."