Neil Patrick Harris: Dr. Doogie Howser

Quotes 

• Dr. Doogie Howser : [after meeting Roy's second wife]  That was your wife? And the one in the cafeteria was...

  [Roy lifts his arms] 

  Dr. Doogie Howser : You have two wives, like, together?

  Roy Lester : Now, now, just calm down. It's just of those things.

  Dr. Doogie Howser : Just one of those things?

  Roy Lester : You see, I was dating two women a-at the ends of my trucking route - Marge in Sacramento and Joanne in - in L.A. Well, Joanne and I started getting serious, so I asked her to marry me. Then when I went to tell Marge, I started hinting around that - that maybe we should break it off, and...

  [sighs] 

  Roy Lester : she started crying. Well, I just can't take sobbing, so...

  Dr. Doogie Howser : So you did the natural thing - You married both of them.

  Roy Lester : [sighs]  Look, it's like this. When I stare into those beautiful brown eyes or... beautiful blue eyes, depending on which face I'm staring into, I just get all silly. But it's not like I'm a womanizer, doc. I'm totally faithful... to both of them.

  Dr. Doogie Howser : And you have families with both?

  Roy Lester : Oh, yeah, wonderful families.

  [Grabs his wallet] 

  Roy Lester : I'm just nuts about 'em. Just look at those faces, doc. There's Betty, Angie, Roy Jr.

  [flips through pictures to his other family] 

  Roy Lester : And there's Ronnie and Becky... Roy Jr.

  Dr. Doogie Howser : Two Roy Jrs.?

  Roy Lester : I just couldn't resist. It's just such a darn good name.

  Dr. Doogie Howser : Well, I guess a lot of men have two wives in their lifetime. You just chose to do it simultaneously.

  Roy Lester : Look, doc, I know what I did was wrong, but I love each and every one of these people. You got to help me, doc.

  Dr. Doogie Howser : Help you?

  Roy Lester : Well, yeah. You said my condition was serious, that I shouldn't aggravate it. Please?

  Dr. Doogie Howser : [sighs]  All right. I - I'll have to set up separate visiting schedules for each one, and any visitor will have to check through me, but... I'll do my best.

  Roy Lester : Oh, thanks a heap, doc. Thanks a heap!