The Dick Van Dyke Show (TV Series)

The Third One from the Left (1964)

Dick Van Dyke: Rob Petrie

Photos 

Quotes 

• Mel Cooley : [having seen Joanie kissing Rob]  I'd hate to see it start, Rob.

  Rob Petrie : You hate to see WHAT start?

  Mel Cooley : So many couples we've known, it's hard to get up a bridge game.

• Rob Petrie : [angrily on the phone]  Laura, will you call Joanie's mother and tell her to make Joanie leave me alone?

• Rob Petrie : Well, there's nothing more for us to do around here. I guess we may go home to our loved ones.

  Buddy Sorrell : Not me. I'm goin' home to my wife.

• Laura Petrie : Hi, Darling. How'd it go today?

  Rob Petrie : Congratulate me - I'm engaged.

  Laura Petrie : You're WHAT?

  Rob Petrie : I wanted you to be the very first to know.

  Laura Petrie : Oh, Rob!

• Rob Petrie : You're gettin' pretty sophisticated, by the way. I call you on the phone and tell you a girl kissed me; you don't even get jealous!

  Laura Petrie : Well, I figured your call was for help, not to boast.

• Laura Petrie : Chase her. If you chase her, she'll run.

  Rob Petrie : Oh yeah. Alright, I'll chase her.

  Laura Petrie : But Rob, just one thing. Don't, under any circumstances, catch her.

• Rob Petrie : I don't... What am I gonna DO with her. She's NUTS about me.

  Laura Petrie : Aw, she'll get over it. I did.

• Rob Petrie : Well, I wanna tell her that if I run away with her, you'll kill yourself.

  Laura Petrie : No, tell her that if you run away with her, I'll kill you both. No, no, that's no good. Then no one will have any fun.

  Rob Petrie : Buddy will. He's got dibs on you.

• Rob Petrie : YOU'RE the one who said, "Chase, and she'll run."

  Laura Petrie : And she didn't run?

  Rob Petrie : She ran alright - she ran amok!

• Rob Petrie : You know what Laura said to me last night?

  Buddy Sorrell : Get out of the house.

  Sally Rogers : She said Joanie is in love with you.

  Rob Petrie : Hehe-heh, she said Joanie is in love... How did YOU know?

  Sally Rogers : Figures. The kid's eighteen, you're an older man, you showed an interest in her...

  Rob Petrie : I did not. I just suggested her for a part.

  Sally Rogers : Rob, to a moony teenager, that's like a proposal of marriage.