The Dick Van Dyke Show (TV Series)

Racy Tracy Rattigan (1963)

Mary Tyler Moore: Laura Petrie

Quotes 

• Rob Petrie : Tracy, this is Laura, my wife.

  Tracy Rattigan : Is this foul news the truth?

  Laura Petrie : That's right. I'm his husband.

  Rob Petrie : She means I'm her wife.

• Laura Petrie : You DID give him the right directions, I hope.

  Rob Petrie : Yeah. East Side Highway, Browns River Parkway, you know.

  Laura Petrie : Darling, why didn't you tell him to take the West Side Highway? It's much more direct.

  Rob Petrie : Yeah, but the East Side Highway is ten minutes faster.

  Laura Petrie : Yeah, but twice as devious. There's much more chance he'll get lost.

  Rob Petrie : [laughing]  Yeah, I know that.

• Laura Petrie : Look, Tracy Rattigan is the star of The Alan Brady Show; you are his head writer; you have no choice but to try to make his two weeks on the show as pleasant and uneventful as possible.