- Robert 'Rob' Petrie: Laura was getting even with me this morning because I scared her last night.
- Buddy Sorrell: You scared her? What'd you do? Show up?
- Robert 'Rob' Petrie: [Chuckling] Nah, I was pretending that I was this guy, Kolak, who breathes water.
- Sally Rogers: Oh, yeah. The four-eyed monster they threw out of the U.N. He came from the planet Twilo.
- Robert 'Rob' Petrie: Did you see that picture?
- Sally Rogers: No. Did they make a picture outta that?
- Robert 'Rob' Petrie: Last night, on television.
- Sally Rogers: Noooo. I was at the U.N. the day it happened. Listen, if this guy didn't have those four eyes, I'd have married him.
- Robert 'Rob' Petrie: You want to watch TV?
- Laura Petrie: I suppose so.
- Robert 'Rob' Petrie: Good, I'll see if I can get Insomnia Theater.
- [flips through channels]
- Exercise Instructor: One and two and one...
- Laura Petrie: Who does exercises at this hour?
- Robert 'Rob' Petrie: [points to the TV] This guy.
- Robert 'Rob' Petrie: Oh, what a nightmare! What a night... I dreamed that I was a Twylo-ite. And I lost my sense of humor and my thumbs!
- Robert 'Rob' Petrie: [looking at his thumbs] Oh!
- [kisses them fervently]
- Laura Petrie: I dreamt that Danny Thomas was chasing me and throwing walnuts at me, and every place he'd hit me I'd lose a thumb and grow an eye!
- Robert 'Rob' Petrie: Honey, you just set the alarm for an hour from now.
- Laura Petrie: That's right. If Kolak and his activated walnuts are gonna come after me in my dreams, I'll be saved by the bell.
- Robert 'Rob' Petrie: Laura...
- Laura Petrie: My name is not Laura. It's Lolak. Lolak of Twylo.
- Laura Petrie: [AS LOLAK: parting the hair on the back of her head to show the two eyes in the back of her head] I SEE yooooou.
- [Rob Petrie shudders]
- Robert 'Rob' Petrie: Something is wrong here. Something's wrong. Now, there's three possibilities. Either Laura and the gang are playing a very elaborate practical joke on me, or I'm having a horrible nightmare, or it's really happening to me.
- Robert 'Rob' Petrie: All right, Buddy, who put you up to eatin' walnuts?
- Buddy Sorrell: Well, if you must know, I switched from pistachios.
- Laura Petrie: [surfaces from under the covers] Rob, can't you turn that movie off? It's scaring me.
- Robert 'Rob' Petrie: Honey, not during the climax!
- Laura Petrie: Well can't you watch it out in the living room?
- Robert 'Rob' Petrie: Go back under.
- [Laura groans and pulls the covers up again]