The Dick Van Dyke Show (TV Series)
It May Look Like a Walnut (1963)
Dick Van Dyke: Rob Petrie
Photos
Quotes
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Robert 'Rob' Petrie : Laura was getting even with me this morning because I scared her last night.
Buddy Sorrell : You scared her? What'd you do? Show up?
Robert 'Rob' Petrie : [Chuckling] Nah, I was pretending that I was this guy, Kolak, who breathes water.
Sally Rogers : Oh, yeah. The four-eyed monster they threw out of the U.N. He came from the planet Twilo.
Robert 'Rob' Petrie : Did you see that picture?
Sally Rogers : No. Did they make a picture outta that?
Robert 'Rob' Petrie : Last night, on television.
Sally Rogers : Noooo. I was at the U.N. the day it happened. Listen, if this guy didn't have those four eyes, I'd have married him.
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Robert 'Rob' Petrie : What're you doing?
Laura Petrie : Getting a drink of fresh air.
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Robert 'Rob' Petrie : You want to watch TV?
Laura Petrie : I suppose so.
Robert 'Rob' Petrie : Good, I'll see if I can get Insomnia Theater.
[flips through channels]
Exercise Instructor : One and two and one...
Laura Petrie : Who does exercises at this hour?
Robert 'Rob' Petrie : [points to the TV] This guy.
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Robert 'Rob' Petrie : Oh, what a nightmare! What a night... I dreamed that I was a Twylo-ite. And I lost my sense of humor and my thumbs!
Robert 'Rob' Petrie : [looking at his thumbs] Oh!
[kisses them fervently]
Laura Petrie : I dreamt that Danny Thomas was chasing me and throwing walnuts at me, and every place he'd hit me I'd lose a thumb and grow an eye!
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Robert 'Rob' Petrie : I must... I-I must be dreaming. Either that or I'm in the Twilo Zone!
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Robert 'Rob' Petrie : Honey, you just set the alarm for an hour from now.
Laura Petrie : That's right. If Kolak and his activated walnuts are gonna come after me in my dreams, I'll be saved by the bell.
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Robert 'Rob' Petrie : Laura...
Laura Petrie : My name is not Laura. It's Lolak. Lolak of Twylo.
Laura Petrie : [AS LOLAK: parting the hair on the back of her head to show the two eyes in the back of her head] I SEE yooooou.
[Rob Petrie shudders]
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Robert 'Rob' Petrie : Danny Thomas put nuts in my hat!
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Robert 'Rob' Petrie : Something is wrong here. Something's wrong. Now, there's three possibilities. Either Laura and the gang are playing a very elaborate practical joke on me, or I'm having a horrible nightmare, or it's really happening to me.
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Robert 'Rob' Petrie : All right, Buddy, who put you up to eatin' walnuts?
Buddy Sorrell : Well, if you must know, I switched from pistachios.
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Laura Petrie : [surfaces from under the covers] Rob, can't you turn that movie off? It's scaring me.
Robert 'Rob' Petrie : Honey, not during the climax!
Laura Petrie : Well can't you watch it out in the living room?
Robert 'Rob' Petrie : Go back under.
[Laura groans and pulls the covers up again]