The Dick Van Dyke Show (TV Series)
I'd Rather Be Bald Than Have No Head at All (1964)
Dick Van Dyke: Rob Petrie
Photos
Quotes
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Rob Petrie : [to Mel] When did you first, uh... first realize that, you know, you were... beginning to get bald?
Buddy Sorrell : When a near-sighted ostrich jumped on his head and tried to hatch it.
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Rob Petrie : Honey, wake up a second.
Laura Petrie : [half-asleep] Rob, the coffee's in the pot, the toast is on the table, and the eggs are in the oven.
Rob Petrie : Honey, I don't care if the frost is on the pumpkin. I want you to wake up for just a second.
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[Alan has approved this week's script]
Sally Rogers : Oh, good, good, then who's the surprise guest.
Rob Petrie : Are you ready? Ricard Vincente.
Sally Rogers : Oh, I love him!
Buddy Sorrell : That's no surprise.
Rob Petrie : That's right. Half the women in the country love him.
Buddy Sorrell : [boasting] Well, I happen to know his secret.
Sally Rogers : You do? Why don't you use it?
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Rob Petrie : [waking Laura] Honey, I want to ask you something very important.
Laura Petrie : Well, what's the matter?
Rob Petrie : Would you marry Mel Cooley?
Laura Petrie : Oh, Rob...
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Laura Petrie : Rob, you are not going to put a head full of oil and vinegar on my good pillowcases.
Rob Petrie : I wasn't planning to.
Laura Petrie : Well, then where were you going to sleep, in the refrigerator?