- Bree Van De Kamp: Reverend, I don't mean to criticize, but it sounds like you're giving up.
- Reverend Sikes: Well, we can't force him on the path of righteousness. He himself has got to want to make the journey.
- Bree Van De Kamp: Well, then, what do we do, just stand by while he starts dating boys?
- [to Andrew]
- Bree Van De Kamp: And by the way, the correct word is not "gay." It's "sodomy."
- Rex Van De Kamp: We're in the middle of dinner.
- Bree Van De Kamp: So?
- Rex Van De Kamp: So, can you at least wait until desert before calling our son a sodomite?
- Bree Van De Kamp: How you can sit there and be so casual is beyond me.
- Rex Van De Kamp: For starters, I knew this dinner was a bad idea the moment you suggested it.
- Bree Van De Kamp: Well, at least I'm trying to be pro-active!
- Reverend Sikes: Please, there's no need to get upset.
- Bree Van De Kamp: I am upset because there is a problem here and no-one seems to notice it but me.
- Rex Van De Kamp: As far as I'm concerned, if Andrew is happy with who he is, then it is our job to support him!
- [brief silence]
- Bree Van De Kamp: [to Andrew] Your father is into S&M.
- Rex Van De Kamp: Bree!
- Bree Van De Kamp: He makes me beat him with a riding crop and I let him. It's no wonder you're perverted. Look who your parents are.
- [Bree gets up and leaves]
- Rex Van De Kamp: Excuse me.
- [Rex leaves too]
- Andrew Van De Kamp: [to Reverend Sikes] What a fun night. You know, we should really do this again sometime.
- Bree: Andrew, you remember Reverend Sikes, don't you?
- Andrew Van De Kamp: Oh, come on.
- Bree: Um, Reverend, why don't you, um, have seat, and I will get some refreshments?
- [the reverend sits down at the dining room table where Andrew is sitting and Rex is pouring wine]
- Reverend Sikes: Ah. So, Andrew, it's been a long time.
- Andrew Van De Kamp: Yes. Yes, it has.
- Bree: Would you like some water? I have flat or bubbly.
- Reverend Sikes: Oh, bubbly, please. So, your mother tells me you've started having some sexual desires for other boys.
- [Andrew stares at his mother who smiles back lovingly. Andrew looks at the wine]
- Andrew Van De Kamp: I don't suppose I could get some of that.
- Rex Van De Kamp: I'm gonna need every drop.
- Reverend Sikes: And over the years, we've had so many young people come to our ministry hating themselves for their unnatural desires, and within a few months, they've found an inner peace and a tranquility that is nothing short of miraculous.
- Bree Van De Kamp: Oh.
- [Bree reaches over and touches Andrew's arm. Andrew smiles back at his mother]
- Reverend Sikes: And all it takes is a little faith and a desire to change.
- Andrew Van De Kamp: I'm sorry, but I, I really don't want to talk about my sex life.
- Bree Van De Kamp: Well, that's just too bad, because this needs to be discussed.
- Reverend Sikes: Bree, please, let the boy speak. Go on.
- Andrew Van De Kamp: Well, I appreciate your offer to help. I do. But I don't hate myself. So, I'm good.
- Reverend Sikes: Son, I know what it's like to be a teenager. It's a very confusing time.
- Andrew Van De Kamp: I'm not confused. I know exactly who I am.