Phil Arnold: Zerbo

Quotes 

• Zerbo : I don't sell firewater to the Indians. Zerbo is a perfectly useless, I mean, harmless mixture. It's used externally.

  Stoney Crockett : Yeah, but the only trouble is the Indians can't read the label.

  Zerbo : Even internally, sir, the formula is merely peppermint leaves, licorice...

  Stoney Crockett : Mm-hmm... and alcohol.

• [Stoney sets Zerbo's "medicine" on fire, resulting in a huge explosion] 

  Zerbo : You are so right, sir. Technically, it is firewater.

• Zerbo : But sir, you promised me a chance to prove my innocence!

  Stoney Crockett : Yeah, well, get a character witness.

  Zerbo : I know a good character witness, but I can't get him for ninety days.

  Stoney Crockett : What's he doin'?

  Zerbo : Ninety days.