- Spike: I had a muscle cramp... Buffy was, uh, helping.
- Tara Maclay: A muscle cramp? In your... pants?
- Spike: What? It's a thing.
- Tara Maclay: I thought vengeance demons only punished men who wronged women.
- Halfrek: Oh, that was Anya's little raison d'être. Most of us try to be a little more well-rounded, and actually, we prefer "justice demon." Okay? FYI.
- Tara Maclay: How's that cramp, Spike? Still bothering you?
- Spike: What? Oh. Yeah.
- Tara Maclay: Maybe you, uh, wanna put some ice on it.
- Buffy Summers: Hey, Mr. Passive-Aggressive Guy. Seriously, you wanna take it down a notch or two in there?
- Spike: What? Poor, dainty Richard can't take a joke?
- Buffy Summers: We do not joke about eating people in this house!
- Dawn Summers: Does anybody wanna come to the mall with me for birthday presents?
- Willow Rosenberg: Oh, I would, honey, but I've got my group. You know, the whole Spellcasters Anonymous thing? We're still looking for a better name.
- Xander Harris: Happy Birthday, Buffy!
- [Xander and Anya wheel in a wooden chest]
- Buffy Summers: Oh, my God. Did you guys make that?
- Anya: Yes. Well, Xander did the building. Um, I offered helpful suggestions while observing from a safe distance.
- Anya: [pottering about the Magic Box] Do you think we should set up lots of candles for Buffy's party tomorrow?
- Xander Harris: Not if they're that horrible slug kind you keep trying to unload.
- Anya: I don't know why people get so turned off by slug.
- Xander Harris: Honey, *slugs* get turned off by slug.
- Tara Maclay: How are you doing?
- Buffy Summers: Oh, you know. Better... Mostly... Sometimes.
- Tara Maclay: So, is, um, Spike coming?
- Buffy Summers: No. He-He may be a chip-head, but he still doesn't play too well with others. Besides, I'm definitely not ready to-to...
- Tara Maclay: Come out.
- Buffy Summers: Yeah. I'm all stay-inny.
- Willow Rosenberg: See? It-It's a battery-operated back massager. And-And it's portable so you can take it with you on patrol.
- Buffy Summers: Uh-huh
- Willow Rosenberg: It's like, instant gratification for all your little acheys.
- [Spike smirks at Buffy]
- Buffy Summers: Great! Thanks. Uh, what's next?
- [first lines]
- Buffy Summers: [sighs] I'm sorry.
- Dawn Summers: It's okay.
- Buffy Summers: No. We're gonna sit down and have a real dinner... someday. I hate having to run out in the middle. It's just, you know, there's this *thing* out there. Definitely non-vampire.
- Dawn Summers: I understand.
- Dawn Summers: Oh, okay. So you've all just decided that somehow I'm responsible. Great. Here's me basking in the love.
- Xander Harris: No, it's just, you know, you're upset 'cause we all want to leave. And now we can't leave. Only thing missing is the cornfield. There... There isn't a cornfield, is there?
- [last lines]
- [finally leaving Buffy's house]
- Xander Harris: I just wanna run barefoot on the grass so I can feel the dewdrops between my... God, look at the stars!
- Richard: Hey. Great party.
- Buffy Summers: Hi.
- Richard: Everyone's having fun.
- Buffy Summers: I hope so.
- Richard: I mean, look what time it is, and no one's even thinking about leaving. I know I can't tear myself away.
- Buffy Summers: Yeah?
- Richard: Yeah. Hey, can I get you a drink?
- Buffy Summers: Uh... I-I'm good. Thank you.
- Richard: Okay.
- Buffy Summers: I think I'll just head back in.
- Richard: Well, I'll look for you.
- Buffy Summers: Okay.
- [Richard walks away and Spike walks up]
- Spike: [Making fun of Richard in sing-song] Ooh, Buffy. Can I get you a soda pop? I think I'm in love.
- Richard: Hey, Xander, we gotta be at work in a few minutes.
- Xander Harris: Okay.
- Richard: I can't be late today.
- Spike: You should definitely go. Let's find your coat and get you on your merry way.
- Buffy Summers: Spike.
- Richard: I don't know why I'm not leaving.
- Spike: Me either. Besides, Ritchie, you can't skip breakfast, a growing boy like you. Me? I used to love breakfast. In the old days, I probably would have eaten by now.
- Buffy Summers: Of course, with that new diet of yours, you wanna be careful what you try putting in your mouth now, Spikey.
- Spike: Yeah? I don't know. Tummy's making all kinds of gurglies. Maybe I ought to just feed on whatever's around even if it doesn't go down well.
- [to Richard]
- Spike: You, uh, work out?