- Bob Collins: It's not easy to replace a girl like Schultzy.
- Charmaine 'Schultzy' Schultz: Thanks.
- Bob Collins: I've had to search high and low.
- Margaret MacDonald: By high he means Mulholland and by low he means Pismo Beach.
- Charmaine 'Schultzy' Schultz: Boss, I better stay on a few days and teach the new gal the office routine.
- Bob Collins: Oh no, that won't be necessary. I'll take care of it.
- Charmaine 'Schultzy' Schultz: She won't know what to do about the bookkeeping and filing.
- Bob Collins: Oh, well, I'll show her.
- Charmaine 'Schultzy' Schultz: Who'll show her what to do in the dark room?
- Bob Collins: ...Would you like to withdraw that question?
- Charmaine 'Schultzy' Schultz: Please.
- Steve: So you want to get physical? Look at these muscles!
- [Steve strikes a poses and flexes his muscles]
- Charmaine 'Schultzy' Schultz: Cute. Now do it with the one between your ears.
- [referring to Bob]
- Steve: If he gets in my way, I'll give him such an upper cut he'll be combing his his nose.
- [Margaret is vacuuming in the kitchen]
- Bob Collins: Do you mind, Margaret? I've been listening to a vacuum all morning.
- Margaret MacDonald: How is Crazy Lips?
- Bob Collins: Oh, brother.
- Margaret MacDonald: Well, you can't have everything and she has a very nice figure.
- Bob Collins: Yeah, that she has, that she has... 36-23-36-23.
- Margaret MacDonald: What's that last 23?
- Bob Collins: Her IQ.
- Bob Collins: I just wondered if Schultzy was happy?
- Margaret MacDonald: You just wondered if you could get her back, that's all, 'cause you goofed and picked a lemon.
- Bob Collins: Boy, a lemon is right. I had no idea when I squeezed her last night how sour things were going to be today.