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Memorable quotes for
"Blackadder II"
Bells (1986)

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Lord Flashheart: She's got a tongue like an electric eel, and she likes the taste of a man's tonsils.

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Lord Melchett: Gray, I suspect, your Majesty.
Queen Elizabeth I: I think you'll find they were orange, Lord Melchett.
Lord Melchett: Gray is more usual, Ma'am.
Queen Elizabeth I: Who's Queen?
Lord Melchett: As you say, Majesty. There were these magnificent orange elephants...

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Lord Percy Percy: I'd like to meet the Spaniard who can make his way past me.
Lord Edmund Blackadder: Well, go to Spain; there are millions of them

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Lord Edmund Blackadder: Aah, and who is Jane?
Lord Percy Percy: I'm sworn to secrecy. Torture me, kill me, you shall never know.
[Blackadder kicks him in the gonads]
Lord Percy Percy: Ooh, ouch... Jane Herrington. We're very much in love, my lord.
Lord Edmund Blackadder: This is *the* Jane Herrington?
Lord Percy Percy: Yes.
Lord Edmund Blackadder: Jane "bury-me-in-a-Y-shaped-coffin" Herrington.
Lord Percy Percy: I... , I think maybe there are two Jane Herringtons.
Lord Edmund Blackadder: No... Tall, blond, elegant?
Lord Percy Percy: Right, that's right.
Lord Edmund Blackadder: Goes like a privy door when the plague comes down?

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Lord Flasheart: Ah, Melchett. Still worshipping God? Last I heard... He'd started worshipping me.

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Lord Flasheart: Nursie. I like it firm and fruity. Am I pleased to see you or did I just put a canoe in my pocket? Down, boy, down.

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Lord Flasheart: I've got a plan, and it's as hot as my pants.

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Doctor Leech: It isn't every day a man wakes up to discover he's a screaming bender with no more right to live on God's clean Earth than a weasel. Ashamed of yourself?
Blackadder: Not really, no.
Doctor Leech: Bloody Hell. I would be. Still, why should I complain. Just leaves more rampant totty for us real men, eh?
Blackadder: Look, am I paying for this abuse or is it extra?
Doctor Leech: No, no, it's all part of the service.

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Lord Flasheart: She's got a tongue like an electric eel, and she likes the taste of a man's tonsils.

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Blackadder: I seek information about a Wisewoman.
Young Crone: Ah, the Wisewoman... the Wisewoman.
Blackadder: Yes, the Wisewoman.
Young Crone: Two things, my lord, must thee know of the Wisewoman. First, she is... a woman. And second, she is...
Blackadder: Wise?
Young Crone: You do know her then?
Blackadder: No, just a wild stab in the dark which is, incidentally, what you'll be getting if you don't start being a bit more helpful. Do you know where she lives?
Young Crone: Of course.
Blackadder: Where?
Young Crone: Here. Do you have an appointment?
Blackadder: No.
Young Crone: Well, you can go in anyway.
Blackadder: Thank you young crone. Here is a purse of moneys... which I'm not going to give to you.

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Lord Flasheart: Woof!

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