Black Books (TV Series)

Travel Writer (2004)

Alice Lowe: Solicitor

Quotes 

• Bernard : Hanley! Hanley, come out you blood sucker!

  [the door opens] 

  Solicitor : Miss Hanley is dead.

  Bernard : Eh?

  Solicitor : She died in the night.

  Bernard : I don't care... I mean, how awful.

• Solicitor : Miss Hanley left this falt to a Mr. Benson, he's in the kitchen. What was it you wanted to query... Mr...?

  Bernard : Black. I'll talk directly with him, I don't want any legal fidgiewidgieness upsetting natural justice.

  [he enters the kitchen] 

  Bernard : Benson! Benson! Where is he? Benson?

  Solicitor : Mr. Benson is in the bread bin.

  Bernard : I said no legal fidgiewidgieness! I want to see the owner, I want to sort this out and I want...

  Solicitor : [opens the bread bin, revealing Mr. Benson, a cat]  He likes to sleep there. What was it you wanted to say to him?

  Bernard : [unrolls a bill]  I'm not paying this!