- Jaime Sommers: [reading the names on the marquee] Mad Mary? Amazon April and the Spider Lady? Oh boy... average girls next door holds for a stick of gum.
- Milt Bigelow: [Mad Mary has Amazon April pinned to the mat] Pound the mat a little harder.
- Milt Bigelow: [April complies] Harder, like you're suffering, not like you're making pizza.
- Milt Bigelow: What's your name, kid?
- Jaime Sommers: Jessie Sommers.
- Milt Bigelow: Well if things pan out, you'll be known as 'Joltin' Jessie Sommers', what do you think?
- Jaime Sommers: Swell.
- 'Amazon April' Armitage: How did a little skinny thing like you ever learn to wrestle like that?
- Jaime Sommers: Oh, eh, I had this coach, his name was eh, Rudy Wells, he kind of put my style together.
- Oscar Goldman: It's amazing, doctor, that a unit this small can be the brain to opperate an entire surveillance satelite.
- Dr. Brandes: Yes it is. It would have taken years longer to perfect it in my countries laboratories.
- Oscar Goldman: That's part of the reason why you defected, isn't it?
- Dr. Brandes: It certainly was not for your vodka. There's not even a fireplace around to throw the glass into!
- Jaime Sommers: [acting the part as 'Savage Sommers'] I'm telling you, Jimmy, Battling Betty, she's gonna get the axe tonight. She's really is gonna get the axe tonight. And if you're out there watching, sweetheart, I got a rhyme for ya: If you show up tonight, you can trust that you're gonna eat my dust when I break you in half everybody's gonna laugh and say bashful battling Betty's a bust!
- Mary Maddox: [having caught April and Jaime redhanded] Look at this: Tweedle dee and Tweedle dum. Very dumb.
- 'Amazon April' Armitage: [speaking to Jaime in a placid sarcastic tone after they've both been given mouth by Mad Mary] You should have seen her before she went to charm school.