Danny Smith: Merton J. Dingle

Quotes 

• Merton J. Dingle : Oh, yeah! It's a ghost! A noncorporeal, partially photosensitive plane-hopper.

  [to Lori, holding a Yoohoo chocolate drink] 

  Merton J. Dingle : Yoohoo?

  Thomas P. 'Tommy' Dawkins : Oh, come on, Merton. We gotta send a ghost up to the big football field in the sky! Now how are we gonna do it?

  Merton J. Dingle : Hold on, Tommy. Okay? Just 'cause he looks nasty doesn't necessarily mean he's evil. I mean, Bronco may be like one of the ghosts in The Sixth Sense, featuring Bruce Willis playing against type as a pensive child psychologist.

  Lori Baxter : Well, what happened?

  Merton J. Dingle : Well, after Die Hard, it was hard for Willis to shake his blue collar appeal.

  Thomas P. 'Tommy' Dawkins : What happened in the movie.

  [to Lori] 

  Thomas P. 'Tommy' Dawkins : He does this all the time.

  Merton J. Dingle : Well, a boy is plagued by horrific-looking ghosts, and he's scared of them, like you are, but then he realizes he just has to fix a problem they had before they died.

• Merton J. Dingle : [tries to open a Yoohoo bottle and fails]  Come on, bottle! This thing cannot be opened!

  [Lori takes bottle and opens it easily] 

  Merton J. Dingle : For the record I loosened that.