Bewitched (TV Series)

Mother, Meet What's His Name (1964)

Dick York: Darrin Stephens

Photos 

Quotes 

• [last lines] 

  Darrin Stephens : Say, could she... I mean, really turn me into an artichoke?

  Samantha : If she wanted to.

  Darrin Stephens : That's creepy. What could you do? I mean, if she did?

  Samantha : Nothing, except...

  Darrin Stephens : Except what?

  Samantha : I could become an artichoke too.

• Endora : What on earth did you do that for?

  Samantha : Do what?

  Endora : You carried that ashtray to me. Don't tell me you've forgotten how to levitate.

  Samantha : Well, of course I haven't forgotten, Mother. It's just that Darrin prefers that I don't do any of that stuff anymore.

  Endora : Why do you object to my daughter being herself, young man?

  Darrin Stephens : Well, I don't object, Mrs...

  Endora : You'll never be able to pronounce it. Just call me Endora.

  Darrin Stephens : I like Samantha the way she is, Endora. She doesn't need any of that other nonsense.

  Endora : Nonsense?

  Samantha : Darrin doesn't mean anything. Darrin, please.

  Darrin Stephens : I mean, we don't need those powers of hers. We can handle things very well by ourselves.

  Endora : Oh, you think so, do you?

  Darrin Stephens : Oh, I don't mean to be disrespectful, but we wanna live normal lives.

  Endora : What is normal to you, young man, is to us asinine. Samantha is what she is, and that you cannot change.

  Samantha : Mother, I made the decision myself.

  Endora : Yes, I know. A decision I do not approve.

  Samantha : Samantha and I can handle our problems by ourselves. They're nobody else's business.

  Samantha : Darrin, please!

  Endora : Are you threatening me?

  Darrin Stephens : Not exactly.

  Samantha : Darrin, please understand. Mother means well.

  Endora : Don't you worry, my poor baby. Your mother will see to it that you're treated properly.

  Darrin Stephens : I have every intention of treating her properly without any help or interference from you.

• Darrin Stephens : [asking about Endora]  Well, what sort of eyes does she have?

  Samantha : They're blue. All five of them.

• Endora : This must be Whats-His-Name?

  Samantha : Mother, this is my husband. This is...

  Darrin Stephens : ...Darrin.

• Darrin Stephens : Well, I'd like it much better if you'd call me by my first name.

  Endora : Very well, Dennis.

• Darrin Stephens : I don't mean to be disrespectful, but we wanna live normal lives.

  Endora : What is normal to you young man, is to us asinine.

• Darrin Stephens : Oh sure, sure, I suppose I look like some sort of a freak to you because I want to live what is to me a normal existence.

  Samantha : Darrin, I didn't say that. I understand how you feel. Whatever it is you want, that's what I want too.

  Darrin Stephens : Are you absolutely sure, Sam?

  Samantha : Yes.

  Darrin Stephens : What about your mother?

  Samantha : She'll get used to the idea. Anyway, you married me, not my mother.

• Darrin Stephens : Hey, I see you got the phone connected, huh?

  Samantha : No. No, they won't be here until later this afternoon.

• Samantha : [doorbell rings]  She's here.

  Darrin Stephens : Well, at least she didn't fly down the chimney.

• Darrin Stephens : You know, having a plain, ordinary mother-in-law is a new experience to me. But having a mother-in-law who's a... I mean, uh... Do you, uh, resemble her?

  Samantha : No. I look like my father.

  Darrin Stephens : Ah. Oh, what does your mother look like?

  Samantha : Well, she's 5'6" and weighs about 118 pounds.

  Darrin Stephens : Well, sounds normal.

  Samantha : What do you mean?

  Darrin Stephens : Well, I mean, um... It looks... It sounds like she looks normal.

  Samantha : What do you expect my mother to look like?

  Darrin Stephens : How would I know?

  Samantha : Well, you know what I look like.

  Darrin Stephens : Well, that's no proof!

  Samantha : Proof of what?

  Darrin Stephens : Proof that she doesn't have... Well, a...

• Samantha : Will you answer the door, or shall I?

  Darrin Stephens : I'll answer it.

  Samantha : Ask her to leave her broom outside.

• Darrin Stephens : I suppose I look like some sort of a freak to you because I wanna live what is to me a perfectly normal existence.