Barney Miller (TV Series)
The Election (1976)
James Gregory: Inspector Frank Luger
Quotes
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Inspector Frank Luger : Good Morning
Det. Ron Harris : Hi, Inspector
Inspector Frank Luger : Hi Barney
Capt. Barney Miller : Inspector, what can we do for you ?
Inspector Frank Luger : Oh, I hear you got some security set-up over at the Greenwich Hotel for the night. Going to be some big doing going on over there.
Capt. Barney Miller : A party for local politicians, huh ?
Inspector Frank Luger : Yeah... Yeah. A little shin-dig for Jake Scofield, our next City Councilman, with a little luck.
Capt. Barney Miller : Jake Scofield. I've been reading his name in the paper. Haven't I ?
Inspector Frank Luger : Yeah... Yeah. Get this, Barney, if Scofield gets elected, guess whose got a shot at being the next full-fledged Police Commissioner of the NYPD .
Capt. Barney Miller : Okay
Inspector Frank Luger : Yeah.
Capt. Barney Miller : How 'bout that ? Scofield... Scofield. Wasn't he involved in those "Garbage pay-offs" ?
Inspector Frank Luger : That's... They haven't pinned a thing on him Barney. I've known Scofield for two years. Ever since he was Assistant Book-keeper at the Department of Sanitation, before he had a dime. You know how the newspapers jump on stuff like that, huh ?
Capt. Barney Miller : Yeah... Yeah.
Inspector Frank Luger : Sure
Crippen : Captain Miller, the polls will be closed in over an hour ?
Capt. Barney Miller : Okay, Mr Crippen ?
Inspector Frank Luger : Whose that ?
Capt. Barney Miller : That's Mr. Crippen. He was arrested for shop-lifting. Want's to vote .
Inspector Frank Luger : Whose he going to vote for ?
Capt. Barney Miller : I haven't asked ?
Inspector Frank Luger : What did he lift ?
Crippen : Captain Miller, it's my constitutional right to vote, isn't it ? Even under these circumstances.
Capt. Barney Miller : We'll see what we can do ? Wojo, take Mr. Crippen over to the polls, let him vote, then bring him back ?
Det. Stan 'Wojo' Wojciehowicz : Sure, Barn.
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Inspector Frank Luger : You stole woman's draws ?
Crippen : I didn't intend to ? I wanted to pay for them ?
Inspector Frank Luger : A little present for your wife ?
Crippen : I'm not married .
Inspector Frank Luger : Huh? Aren't you disgusting ?
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Inspector Frank Luger : Hey Wojo, did you vote yet ?
Det. Stan 'Wojo' Wojciehowicz : Yes sir
Inspector Frank Luger : Did you vote yet ?
Det. Stan 'Wojo' Wojciehowicz : Sure did Inspector.
Inspector Frank Luger : Good... Good. Probably voted for Jake Scofield, right ?
Det. Stan 'Wojo' Wojciehowicz : No I didn't vote for him
Inspector Frank Luger : Shame on you Wojciehowicz, he's just the man the city deserves. We haven't had a candidate like Jake Scofield since the days of., uh... did you ever hear of Tamanny Hall ?
Det. Stan 'Wojo' Wojciehowicz : They were a bunch of crooks
Inspector Frank Luger : Where did you get that ?
Det. Stan 'Wojo' Wojciehowicz : School
Inspector Frank Luger : Consider the source
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Inspector Frank Luger : Yeah, well, I'll see you around Barn
Capt. Barney Miller : Yeah
Inspector Frank Luger : Oh, listen, by the way, when me and Scofield make it, don't think I'm going to forget the old 1-2, uh, maybe a fresh paint job, a new drinking fountain
Capt. Barney Miller : Well, we'll keep a good thought
Inspector Frank Luger : Yeah, oh, what's the pervert's name ?
Capt. Barney Miller : Crippen
Inspector Frank Luger : Hi there, Mr. Crippen, sir. A moment, please. Might I ask you to remember the name Jacob Scofield, City Councilman, Borough of Manhattan ?
Crippen : Jacob Scofield ? I heard of that name
Inspector Frank Luger : Of course you have, sure. He's for Justice, Progress, and, uh, all that other good stuff like that, you know ?
Crippen : Oh, I'll keep that in mind
Inspector Frank Luger : That's all I can ask Mr. Crippen. Thank you, sir. I'll tell you Barney, first thing Scofield is going to do when he gets elected is get freaks like that off the streets. Hmm ? Cherchez la Femme, Barney.