Barney Miller (TV Series)
Smog Alert (1977)
June Gable: Det. Maria Battista
Photos
Quotes
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Det. Maria Battista : Okay, you inside.
Antoine McCarthy : I didn't mean to hurt anyone. Everybody does it and nobody ever gets arrested
Det. Maria Battista : Your are going to be famous. You are going to be first
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Officer Carl Levitt : Battista ?
Det. Maria Battista : That's right ?
Officer Carl Levitt : Puerto Rican ?
Det. Maria Battista : 100 percent
Officer Carl Levitt : What are you 4'6" - 4'7" ?
Det. Maria Battista : 5 feet
Officer Carl Levitt : Sure, got the whole world by the tail
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Det. Maria Battista : McCarthy, don't got no priors.
Capt. Barney Miller : Fine
Det. Maria Battista : They're probably going to go easy on him.
Capt. Barney Miller : Probably
Det. Maria Battista : It was a good bust though, yeah ?
Capt. Barney Miller : From a technical viewpoint.
Det. Maria Battista : Nah, he's probably going to get off clean.
Capt. Barney Miller : Not exactly clean. The man has already been humiliated and embarrassed
Det. Maria Battista : You want me to let him go ?
Capt. Barney Miller : It's your collar Battista, it's your decision.
Det. Maria Battista : That's right
Capt. Barney Miller : However, a misdemeanor citation, a lecture on respect for woman...
Det. Maria Battista : Is that my decision ?
Capt. Barney Miller : It's up to you
Det. Maria Battista : It's not bad
Capt. Barney Miller : Don't worry about it, he's not going to write on anymore walls
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Det. Maria Battista : Okay McCarthy, out of the cage
Antoine McCarthy : What ?
Antoine McCarthy : Your being released with a Desk Appearance Ticket.
Antoine McCarthy : What's the rush ?
Det. Maria Battista : This ticket requires you to appear in court the day specified on the ticket
Antoine McCarthy : I don't mind waiting here
Det. Maria Battista : Look , I'm trying to be nice to you. Come on, don't cause me no trouble. Move it out
Officer Carl Levitt : Writes on bathroom wall. I do that.
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Det. Ron Harris : Just wait right in here. You'll be very happy.
Renee Pettit : I give you my word, no more bridges. It was all a joke, don't you understand, a joke. For God sakes, doesn't anybody here have a sense of humor ?
Officer Carl Levitt : I would be Detective right now, if I was a woman
Det. Maria Battista : You know, I understand things like that can be arranged ?
Officer Carl Levitt : What, are you kidding? I wouldn't go through something like that. Weird doctors cut you up, making guys into broads. You don't come out any taller.
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Capt. Barney Miller : This our author ?
Det. Maria Battista : Mr. Antoine McCarthy. Disorderly Conduct and Resisting Arrest
Capt. Barney Miller : Resisting Arrest ?
Antoine McCarthy : I didn't know who she was.
Det. Maria Battista : I identified myself as a police officer
Antoine McCarthy : I thought she was fooling around ? You know, to break the ice
Capt. Barney Miller : Mr. McCarthy, you defaced city property. What's more in a particularly vulgar manner
Det. Maria Battista : it wasn't even clean enough to be vulgar. Ah... Come sit down here please. I wrote down what you wrote down. Dirty, filthy smut.
Antoine McCarthy : If you want to catch a person's eye -- I mean, you're competing with a lot other stuff.
Antoine McCarthy : What were you doing in the ladies wash room ?
Antoine McCarthy : What do you want me to do. Hang around bars?