Barney Miller (TV Series)
Horse Thief (1975)
Ron Masak: Officer Shriker
Photos
Quotes
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Officer Shriker : It ain't my horse.
Det. Sgt. Nick Yemana : Are you sure?
Officer Shriker : Hey, I know my horse.I mean, don't you think a fella knows his own horse?
Capt. Barney Miller : W-wait a minute. Wait a minute. Mr. Fuzzo, did you or did you not take that horse from the police barn?
Fuzzo : I did. I swear it. Would I lie about something I stole?
Officer Shriker : Well, he took it. It's Cooley's gelding. I don't ride geldings.
Capt. Barney Miller : Look, you wanna take the horse or don't you?
Officer Shriker : Uh, yeah, I guess maybe I better. Hey, I got to admit something. He really knows his horses. I mean, that horse looks happier with you than he ever did with Cooley.
Fuzzo : Thanks.
Capt. Barney Miller : Look, uh, Shriker, think anybody would mind if it took a couple of extra days before the horse got back?
Officer Shriker : O-oh. I don't know. I... I could ask Cooley. He's down in Washington Square riding crowd control.
Capt. Barney Miller : Good, you do that. Mr. Fuzzo, why don't you go with Officer Shriker?No, that's... That's okay.That's okay. That's okay.
Officer Shriker : Hey, wait a minute.If you got Cooley's horse, Cooley's got mine. Cooley uses spurs.
Fuzzo : O-oh. Oh, I hate that.Any guy that uses spurs should be horsewhipped.
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Officer Shriker : Is there a Yemana here?
Det. Sgt. Nick Yemana : Yo.
Officer Shriker : Shriker of the Mounted. I've come for my horse.
Det. Sgt. Nick Yemana : Your horse is down in back. We got the guy up in front. His name is Fuzzo.
Officer Shriker : His name is garbage when I get through with him.
Capt. Barney Miller : Whoa. What's going on here?
Det. Sgt. Nick Yemana : Uh, Captain, this is Officer Shriker. He wants his horse. And the guy that took him.
Capt. Barney Miller : Hey, hey, hey, hey. Shriker, I gotta tell you there were some, you know, special circumstances.
Officer Shriker : Yeah, well, in another town, in another time, they'd hang him from a tree.
Capt. Barney Miller : I can understand how you feel.
Officer Shriker : You don't fool with a man's horse.
Capt. Barney Miller : Look... Look, Shriker, uh, Mr. Fuzzo here has a hansom cab, and he needed a horse.
Officer Shriker : Didn't he know that?
Capt. Barney Miller : That... That is, he had a horse, but somebody stole it.
Officer Shriker : Isn't that always the way, huh?
Capt. Barney Miller : Look, Mr. Fuzzo took really good care of your horse. He really did. Why don't you go down back, take a look at it? You'll see.
Officer Shriker : Well...
[whinnies]
Officer Shriker : Okay, I need coolin' out anyway.