Barney Miller (TV Series)
Dorsey (1980)
Hal Linden: Capt. Barney Miller
Photos
Quotes
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Capt. Barney Miller : You help us, we'll help you. You cooperate, I pretty much guarantee I can get you probation We could probably get you into a methadone clinic... Help you kick the habit.
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Capt. Barney Miller : The point is, we work very closely here around here and we can't do that in atmosphere of mistrust and suspicion.
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Det. Stan 'Wojo' Wojciehowicz : The crime bureau doesn't know anything about him, so I want to get a warrant and go pick him up
Capt. Barney Miller : Okay take some uniforms
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Capt. Barney Miller : What do we got here ?
Det. Sgt. Arthur Dietrich : Kenneth Pryor - Disorderly Conduct, Destruction of Private Property, and Resisting Arrest...
Kenneth Pryor : Resisting Arrest ?
Det. Sgt. Arthur Dietrich : We're entitled ?
Kenneth Pryor : I had to do something to stop them, there are a bunch of Sadists and Nazis over there
Capt. Barney Miller : Over Where ?
Det. Ron Harris : We picked him up at a "Stop Smoking Clinic"... It's the New York Institute for Smoke Modification Inc.
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Capt. Barney Miller : You want to take care of that stuff ?
Officer Carl Levitt : Certainly, I'll put it in lockup
Officer Carl Levitt : Contact the Narcotics Task Force, tell them we'll keep them apprised
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Bill Adelson : Our program is designed to liberate people from the tyranny of their subconscious cravings... and I am living proof that it works. Did you know that at one time I smoked three packs of cigarettes a day , weighed 250 pounds and was an alcoholic.?... But after counter conditioning treatment, today I have absolutely no desire for a cigarette or alcohol or food.
Capt. Barney Miller : Congratulations... Now if you just follow Sergeant Harris, he'll have you sign the complaint
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Capt. Barney Miller : Ah, Dorsey. Yeah.We got a bit of a problem here, sit down.
Det. Sgt. Eric Dorsey : In regard to what?
Capt. Barney Miller : In regard to your attitude toward us and our rapidly deteriorating attitude to you
Det. Sgt. Eric Dorsey : I see
Capt. Barney Miller : I thought we had cleared things up , but obviously not considering you last remark about the heroin.
Det. Sgt. Eric Dorsey : What heroin?
Capt. Barney Miller : The heroin that was sitting right over there... That's gone now.
Det. Sgt. Eric Dorsey : Oh that heroin.
Capt. Barney Miller : That heroin is in the lockup right now where it will remain until it is needed in court after which it will be disposed of according to official police procedures.
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Officer Carl Levitt : Sir, the transfer notification and permanent file on Dorsey, Eric
Capt. Barney Miller : Oh, thank you
Officer Carl Levitt : From what I am told, he is an excellent officer.He should make a fine addition to the squad
Officer Carl Levitt : Thank You
Officer Carl Levitt : Will you be needing me for anything else?
Capt. Barney Miller : No,Thank You
Officer Carl Levitt : I didn't think so
Capt. Barney Miller : Levitt... Levitt, I do not make the final decisions on assignments and promotion, I did not request Dorsey. But when an offer is made for additional manpower, I am not about to turn it down
Officer Carl Levitt : Did I ask something?
Capt. Barney Miller : Well, I know how long and hard you worked for a permanent assignment up here.
Officer Carl Levitt : It has kept me going, Sir ?
Capt. Barney Miller : There is still a possibility ?
Officer Carl Levitt : Oh
Capt. Barney Miller : Look, I don't know how long he's going to be up here anyway. Maybe, he won't work out.Maybe, he won't fit in with the squad. He might turn out to be more of an hindrance than a help.
Officer Carl Levitt : Let's hope so sir
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Det. Ron Harris : Apparently, Mr Pryor had gone to the clinic for treatment, but subsequently took exception to the methods.
Kenneth Pryor : There barbaric. You know, what they do. They stick these electrodes up your arm and everytime you take a puff... Zap !... 30 Volts... and while they are doing that, they got you in this room with ashtrays full of soggy, stinky, cigarette butts and blown-up pictures of diseased cancerous lungs
Det. Ron Harris : What kind of ashtrays?
Capt. Barney Miller : Was any of this done against your will Mr. Pryor?
Kenneth Pryor : What will? You have no will once they get through you.
Capt. Barney Miller : I'm afraid we're going to have to book you anyway
Kenneth Pryor : I am so sick of non-smokers, with there snotty looks, and their phony little coughs and their smug self-righteous attitudes.
Det. Ron Harris : Tell me about it, You want to have a seat right here please
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Det. Stan 'Wojo' Wojciehowicz : Just get in here and be quiet
Mr. King : Sergeant, look,I really feel we can work this out by ourselves without bothering your superiors.
Capt. Barney Miller : Too late... Mr King, I assume
Det. Stan 'Wojo' Wojciehowicz : Picked him up in a bar over on Lexington, he was pushing a little cocaine this time.
Capt. Barney Miller : Just get in here and be quiet We'll put this with your heroin
Mr. King : Heroin?... Hey man, I don't have any heroin.
Edward Devoe : It's okay man, they got mine too
Det. Stan 'Wojo' Wojciehowicz : Shut Up... I don't know who that this...
Capt. Barney Miller : Book'em Wojo, and I think Narcotics may want to have a talk with him
Mr. King : Wait a second... I don't think we have considered all our options here
Capt. Barney Miller : What do you mean ?
Mr. King : I mean, I'm sure we can work out a solution to this problem, that will be mutually beneficial.
Det. Stan 'Wojo' Wojciehowicz : Come on, King... Get off here...
Capt. Barney Miller : Hold it. Hold it. Wait a minute... What did you have in mind ?
Mr. King : You got the other stuff of mine and this coke here... it's very high grade... easy to sell.
Capt. Barney Miller : I'll bet
Mr. King : Hey, I got a key in my pocket... May I
Capt. Barney Miller : Go Ahead
Mr. King : This fits a safe deposit boxes that's got $75,000 inside, all I want to do is walk out of here
Capt. Barney Miller : Let's see if I get this straight, you're offering us all that heroin and that cocaine, and $75,000 just to let you walk out of here.
Mr. King : Well
Capt. Barney Miller : No Thank You, Is that good enough for you?...
Det. Sgt. Eric Dorsey : Yeah, I think so
Mr. King : You don't want it?
Capt. Barney Miller : No, it's real nice of you to offer, add attempted bribery to the charges
Mr. King : Oh... nice guy
Det. Stan 'Wojo' Wojciehowicz : On King
Capt. Barney Miller : Dietrich we got out ID, run Devoe over to Bellevue