- John Steed: Basil...
- Mother: It's a simple case. A man with the mentality of a child of seven could handle it.
- John Steed: On that basis, Basil qualifies.
- Tara King: As a damsel in distress, I have a feeling that a knight in shining armour on his trusty steed will come and rescue us at any moment.
- Basil Creighton-Latimer: I say, I'm most frightfully sorry uncle.
- Mother: I am not your uncle I am your Mother. At least you call me Mother during office hours.
- Charles Merrydale: You must concede my superior intelligence. After all, I have been a prisoner longer than you.
- John Steed: They say that Tara's gone out and given a message to the exchange not to disturb her.
- Mother: Sounds fairly reasonable.
- John Steed: So did the other four reasons.
- Mother: Four?
- John Steed: First time I rang she was riding, second time playing tennis, third time she was, eh, on a picnic and the fourth time she was swimming in the pool.
- Mother: Active girl. No wonder she's gone to bed.
- John Steed: Hm. She's staying at the Elizabethan.
- Mother: So you said.
- John Steed: The Elizabethan has no swimming pool. A beach, but no pool.
- Mother: Funny.
- John Steed: Silly.
- John Steed: Stupid.
- Mother: Odd.
- John Steed: Crass.