The Avengers (TV Series)

A Surfeit of H2O (1965)

Patrick Macnee: John Steed

Photos 

Quotes 

• John Steed : You've had warning of the flood?

  Jonah Barnard : Oh, indeed I have.

  John Steed : [taps an old barometer]  Something more positive than this, I hope?

  Jonah Barnard : Butterflies.

  John Steed : In the stomach?

  Jonah Barnard : In the district!

• Joyce Jason : Can I help you?

  John Steed : [brightens up at the sight of her]  Any time! Eh, Steed, John Steed of Steed, Steed, Steed, Steed, Steed and Jacques Limited, wine merchants extraordinary.

  [hands over his card] 

  Joyce Jason : How did Jacques get in?

  John Steed : He didn't, he doesn't exist. But in the wine trade, you must have that French touch, so I invented Jacques, heh.

  Joyce Jason : Do your relatives approve?

  John Steed : Eh?

  Joyce Jason : Steed, Steed, Steed...

  John Steed : Oh, as a matter of fact, I invented them too, looks better on the card, heh.

• Emma Peel : [Mrs. Peel is trapped in a wine press. Steed and Jonah arrive through a secret entrance in the floor]  Gentlemen should knock before entering.

  John Steed : [quickly walks up to Emma]  What are you, a sparkle in a seaweed soda?

  Emma Peel : No, I'm the kick in the nettle noggin.

  John Steed : Never mind, I'll have you out of here in two shakes of a swizzle stick.

• John Steed : Good evening.

  Jonah Barnard : Good evening, Mr. Steed.

  John Steed : You haven't by any chance seen a young lady?

  Jonah Barnard : Mrs. Peel?

  John Steed : Yes, I told her to meet me here.

  Jonah Barnard : Well, she was in. Some time ago. Tell me... is she a very sinful woman?

  John Steed : I beg your pardon?

  Jonah Barnard : This Mrs. Peel... She looks so charming. But then you can never tell by appearances.

  John Steed : Are you sure we're talking about the same person?

  Jonah Barnard : Yes, Mrs. Peel. Tall, slim, very attractive. It's a pity, a great pity, because she doesn't seem a sinful woman.

  John Steed : Then why should you think she is?

  Jonah Barnard : It's what she said! She came in, left a message for you, but you're not to worry. She was going into the pit of iniquity.