Are You Being Served? (TV Series)

Hoorah for the Holidays (1974)

Mollie Sugden: Mrs. Slocombe

Photos 

Quotes 

• Mrs. Slocombe : I hope this meeting isn't going to take long. My pussy's been locked up for eight hours and I'm afraid it's just not convenient.

  Miss Shirley Brahms : And I've got to be back in time for Top of the Pops.

  Mrs. Slocombe : Oh, do you watch that?

  Miss Shirley Brahms : No, but someone's got to hold me mum back when Gary Glitter comes on.

  Mrs. Slocombe : Does she fancy him?

  Miss Shirley Brahms : No. She kicks the set in!

• Mrs. Slocombe : Exactly how good *is* a one star star hotel?

  Captain Peacock : Can I put it to you this way, Mrs Slocombe? There is no such thing as a *no* star hotel.

• Mrs. Slocombe : [the staff have each been offered five pounds to cover the cost of having to take their holidays while the store is decorated]  You'll have to up the anti, Mr. Rumbold. I mean, five pounds goes nowhere. A loaf of bread costs three shillings. Five pounds is only thirty-five loaves!

  Mr. Humphries : And where can you go on holiday for thirty-five loaves?

  Mr. Lucas : It doesn't buy much crumpet, either.

  Mr. Grainger : I don't get the enjoyment out of it that I used to in the old days.

  Mr. Lucas : What, the crumpet?

  Mr. Grainger : No. The bread!

• Mrs. Slocombe : Oh, Mr. Rumbold, I hope this isn't going to take long. - My pussy's been locked up for eight hours and I'm afraid it's just not convenient.

• Mr. Rumbold : [describing possible locations for the staff holiday]  "Belly-dancing and sword-swallowing are a nightly attraction for the diners as they sit, cross-legged, on their jhibos, toying with their couscous

  [to Mr. Humphries] 

  Mr. Rumbold : I think a jhibo must be some sort of cushion!

  Mr. Humphries : I was going to ask you about that.

  Mr. Grainger : What exactly is a couscous?

  Captain Peacock : It's a... It's an Arabic, sagoey sort of dish. You eat it with the cut-off ear of a sheep.

  Mr. Grainger : Eurgh!

  Mrs. Slocombe : Well, I'm not sitting on my jhibo in a Foreign Legion fort, toying with me couscous. Not even with a knife and fork!

  Mr. Rumbold : I thought it sounded rather fun.

• Mr. Grainger : You have my support, Stephen.

  Mrs. Slocombe : And mine.

  Mr. Lucas : I'm right behind you, Captain Peacock.

  Mr. Humphries : I'm right behind you, Mr. Lucas.

  Mr. Lucas : I'd rather you were behind Captain Peacock.

• [last lines] 

  Young Mr. Grace : Oh, yes, there's just one thing. - The decorators cant make August, so you'll have to take the last two weeks in November.

  Mrs. Slocombe , Mr. Humphries , Mr. Lucas , Mr. Grainger , Mr. Rumbold , Captain Peacock , Miss Shirley Brahms , Mr. Mash : November?

  Captain Peacock : Where can you go in November? It's out of season!

  Mr. Grainger : Oh, no, it's alright. You can all come and stay at Mrs. Featherstone's. I have a photograph here.

  Mr. Lucas : Ah, well, there's one consolation. - If we all go to Mrs. Featherstone's, we won't have to go forty miles to find a pot there.