Are You Being Served? (TV Series)

German Week (1975)

Mollie Sugden: Mrs. Slocombe

Photos 

Quotes 

• Mrs. Slocombe : I won't forget being thrown flat on my back on Clapham Common by a landmine. And the German Air Force was responsible!

  Mr. Lucas : All the other times she was flat on her back, the American Air Force was responsible.

• [on having to stay for a meeting after working hours] 

  Mrs. Slocombe : You know, this sort of thing just isn't fair on my pussy. She has a go at the furniture if I'm not there prompt.

• Mrs. Slocombe : I'm not selling German sex knickers!

  Captain Peacock : "Sechs", Mrs. Slocombe, is the word they use in Germany for six.

  Miss Brahms : Oh, and what do they use for sex?

  Mr. Mash : Same as they use everywhere else.

• Mr. Cuthbert Rumbold : Oh, where are we in our conference?

  Mr. Humphries : Mrs. Slocombe was remembering being flat on her back on Clapham Common.

  Mrs. Slocombe : Can we knock it off, please?

  Mr. Lucas : She even remembers what she said!

• Mrs. Slocombe : You know, there's only two things I like about Germany: Curt Jurgens and Gorgonzola.

  Miss Brahms : Gorgonzola isn't German!

  Mrs. Slocombe : Oh. Then there's only one thing I like... No! I tell a lie. I like Irving Berlin!

• [discussing the German signs] 

  Mrs. Slocombe : One dear old lady customer of mine got a terrible shock. She was caught short and walked straight through the door marked "Herren".

  Captain Peacock : You should have directed her to the door marked "Damen".

  Mrs. Slocombe : I didn't have time. She saw the word "Her" and was off!

  Mr. Grainger : And I'm here to tell you that she won't make the same mistake again.