Are You Being Served? (TV Series)
Camping In (1973)
Mollie Sugden: Mrs. Slocombe
Photos
Quotes
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Mrs. Slocombe : In fact, that's how I met my husband, during an air raid. The bombs were raining down, and I saw his face, lit by an incendiary. He threw me on my face and said, "Look out - here comes a big one!"
Mr. Lucas : I suppose there wasn't much time for chatting in those days.
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Miss Brahms : Mrs Slocombe, that man's been hanging round our underwear counter for the past ten minutes.
Mrs. Slocombe : Oh dear. Do you think he's one of those?
Miss Brahms : One of what?
Mrs. Slocombe : A Bon Voyeur. Y'know, they're the people who look but don't touch.
Miss Brahms : Ooh, I've never been out with one of those.
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Mrs. Slocombe : Are you being served, sir?
The Large Bra Customer : Uh, no. Do you have a male assistant on this counter?
Mrs. Slocombe : No, sir. This is ladies underwear.
The Large Bra Customer : I just thought you might have a man to help you.
Mrs. Slocombe : No, sir. There isn't much demand for that sort of thing at Grace Brothers.
The Large Bra Customer : Ah. Well, er... I want to purchase a bra.
Miss Brahms : [surprised] What size do you take?
Mrs. Slocombe : That'll do, Miss Brahms.
The Large Bra Customer : Oh, no. It's for my fiancée. She's a young girl.
Mrs. Slocombe : Oh, congratulations. Have you any idea what size the young lady takes?
The Large Bra Customer : Well...
Mrs. Slocombe : Miss Brahms, go and polish something.
The Large Bra Customer : [hands Mrs Slocombe a brassiere] I managed to knock this off when she wasn't looking.
Mrs. Slocombe : Oh, how clever of you
[examining the garment]
Mrs. Slocombe : Mmm, she's a healthy girl, isn't she. Miss Brahms, get out the 44s. The Kilimanjaro range.
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The 38C Cup : [Comes out of the fitting room wearing nothing but her panties and the bra she was trying on] Have you got anything cut a bit lower?
Mrs. Slocombe : [gasps in shock and covers her with a large hat] Would you mind remaining in the fitting room, madam? You see, we share this floor with gents ready-mades, and they've got eyes like hawks!
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Mrs. Slocombe : I was blowing up my air bed and it takes puff after puff after puff.
Mr. Humphries : Can I help anybody?
Mrs. Slocombe : No, thank you, Mr. Humphries. I've managed.
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Captain Stephen Peacock : Mrs. Slocombe, what is Miss Brahms doing in that tent?
Mrs. Slocombe : Knowing you, I'm surprised you haven't looked.
Miss Brahms : He has and I was putting on me pajamas.
Mrs. Slocombe : Captain Peacock!
Captain Stephen Peacock : The point is, Mrs. Slocombe, that this large tent is for yourself and Miss Brahms.
Mrs. Slocombe : There's going to be no one in my boudoir when I blow out the candle.
Captain Stephen Peacock : I have no other accommodation. Where am I supposed to bivouac?
Mrs. Slocombe : I don't care, whack. It's nothing to do with me.
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Mrs. Slocombe : Captain Peacock, are you free?
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Mrs. Slocombe : Oh, well, I suppose they're better than nothing.
Mr. Mash : I think I'd prefer you in nothing.
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Mrs. Slocombe : Miss Brahms, our sleepwear has arrived.
Mr. Mash : What size are you?
Miss Brahms : Oh, not for me thanks. I never wear anything in bed. I don't like rough things next to my skin.
Mr. Mash : You're lucky you ain't got me in there with ya!
Mrs. Slocombe : You will wear pajamas tonight, Miss Brahms. Suppose there was a fire and you had no clothes on?
Miss Brahms : Ooh, I'd be first to be rescued.