- Sheriff Andy Taylor: He's one of our most respected citizens, one of our best church-goin' members. He knows every hymn in the book.
- Deputy Barney Fife: Aw, that's just a front! You watch him sometime when we're singin' "Leaning On The Everlasting Arms." He don't even know the words! He just moves his lips!
- Barney Fife: Okay answer with a yes or no answer. Who's store is being robbed?
- Andy Taylor: No?
- Barney Fife: What do you mean no?
- Andy Taylor: Well you said answer with yes or no.
- Barney Fife: One word! I meant one word!
- Andy Taylor: Well you didn't say that.
- Barney Fife: Answer with one word! I hate it when you get obtuse! Okay let's try this again. Who's store is being robbed?
- Andy Taylor: Weaver.
- Barney Fife: And who ever gets a bargain at Weaver's Department Store?
- Andy Taylor: Uh... Weaver?
- Barney Fife: No! I'm trying to give you the name of the criminal! The answer is no one!
- Andy Taylor: No one's the criminal?
- Barney Fife: [looks away angrily] Boy when you get obtuse...