The Andy Griffith Show (TV Series)

The Perfect Female (1961)

Andy Griffith: Andy Taylor

Photos 

Quotes 

• Andy Taylor : Barney's about as subtle as a pig squealin' for his supper.

• Andy Taylor : Do you think we ought to get married before or after the coffee?

  Karen Moore : Well, I believe in long engagements myself, so let's make it after.

• Barney Fife : Wait till you see her! She's really attractive!

  Andy Taylor : Uh-huh. That's what you said about Benjy.

  Barney Fife : Benjy?

  Andy Taylor : The one that looked like Benjamin Franklin.

• [Barney's smooth ploy to get Andy over to the coffee shop has, so far, not worked] 

  Barney Fife : [anxiously]  Andy, let's go over to the coffee shop and have a cup of coffee.

  Andy Taylor : Well, why?

  Barney Fife : To meet Thelma Lou's cousin from Arkansas, that's why!

  Andy Taylor : What?

  Barney Fife : Thelma Lou's got this cousin in town! She's from Arkansas and I promised Thelma Lou I'd get you to the coffee shop to meet her at three o'clock and if I don't, Thelma Lou's gonna be mad at me!

  Andy Taylor : Oh. Okay.

  [Andy starts to head out] 

  Barney Fife : Now, look, Andy! It ain't often I ask you to do me a favor, but the one time I do, you'd think you'd be a little more cooperative! All I ask is a simple thing like... Where're you goin'?

  Andy Taylor : Over to the coffee shop to meet Thelma Lou's cousin from Arkansas. You comin'?

• Andy Taylor : Yes, sir. Everything she dished out, I had comin'.

• Karen Moore : But, do you know something, Andy? I don't think I really and truly know all there is to know about you. Let's see, now. You do like music.

  Andy Taylor : Well, I...

  Karen Moore : Well, do you like opera, modern, classical?

  Andy Taylor : I can't... I couldn't...

  Karen Moore : And books. Do you like fiction or non-fiction? Who's your favorite American author?

  Andy Taylor : I, uh...

  Karen Moore : Oh, and please just tell me one thing: do you think you could ever make a livin' at anything besides sheriffin'? I - I hope you don't mind my askin' you all these questions, but, you see, these are things I really and truly have to know so I can evaluate you properly. You know, "pass muster".

  Barney Fife : Now, just a minute! What are you tryin' to do here?

  Karen Moore : Well, it's all very simple. When Mr. Taylor gave me the thrill and honor of okaying me as worthy of his attentions, I thought it would be awfully nice if I could award him the same thrill. I'll tell you, Mr. Taylor, I'll consider all of your qualities and I'll let you know if you made the grade.