- Andy Taylor: When a man carries a gun all the time, the respect he thinks he's gettin' might really be fear. So I don't carry a gun because I don't want the people of Mayberry to fear a gun. I'd rather they would respect me.
- Barney Fife: Now to the average person, this might just look like a back room, but if these walls could talk...
- Andy Taylor: If these walls could talk, they'd probably say "This ain't nothin' but a back room."
- Aunt Bee Taylor: Well, do you know the only reason he doesn't carry a gun is because it makes him feel too heavy on one side.