- Andy Taylor: Thelma Lou got a mad on at you, has she?
- Barney Fife: Andy, what is it with women? They got some kind of a rule they can't be happy unless they're causin' trouble?
- Opie Taylor: What does that mean, Pa?
- Andy Taylor: What's what mean?
- Opie Taylor: "Past the hand-holding stage and ready to set the date".
- Andy Taylor: Means they're ready to set the date for the wedding.
- Opie Taylor: But I thought Barney *had* a girl: Thelma Lou.
- Andy Taylor: He does. This is somebody else.
- Opie Taylor: Well, what does he need two of 'em for?
- Andy Taylor: [flatly] He doesn't.
- Gladys 'Melissa' Stevens: [cuddling up against Barney] Wouldn't you like to stay like this forever?
- Barney Fife: [uncomfortably] Well...
- Gladys 'Melissa' Stevens: Well, wouldn't you?
- Barney Fife: Yeah, I guess.
- Gladys 'Melissa' Stevens: Barney, do you mean it? Daddy! Daddy, come quick! Wait'll ya hear!
- Barney Fife: What? What? Hear what?
- George Stevens: What is it? What is it? What happened?
- Gladys 'Melissa' Stevens: Daddy, guess what? Barney has just proposed to me!
- George Stevens: He did?
- Gladys 'Melissa' Stevens: He did!
- Barney Fife: I did?