- Andy Taylor: Well, now, Barney, I doubt that Otis is goin' to do any talkin'. He seems mighty set on not helpin' us.
- Otis Campbell: I wished I could, Andy, but it's a matter of ethics. Us town drunks have a code we live by.
- Otis Campbell: Don't forget to wake me up Monday. That's the beginning of National Potato Week and I wanna celebrate.
- Ben Sewell: Oh, Andy! That you and Barney? Come on, glad to see ya! I'm sorry I shot at you, boy. I thought you was the Law.
- Barney Fife: [Barney and Andy have found Ben's still] Let's go in shootin'.
- Andy Taylor: Now, easy, Barney. That's ol' Ben, he's a friend of ours. There ain't no call to go shootin' at ol' Ben. We'll just move in and take him easy like. Come on.
- [Yells to Ben]
- Andy Taylor: Howdy, Ben! I say, Ben, you got company!
- [Ben shoots at them]
- Barney Fife: Don't go shootin' at ol' Ben, huh? Well, ain't that better than him shootin' at ol' us?
- Jennifer Morrison: I had no idea there were so many Moslems in Mayberry.
- [Spoken to her sister after a sale of their 'elixir' to a customer presumed to have claimed his religion was Muslim]
- Andy Taylor: Well, I guess it's all right to have a little taste. After all, it *is* National Still Smashin' Day.