- Peter Parker: [about Spider-Man] I don't really think he wanted any part of being a super hero.
- Gale Hoffman: Then all he has to do is turn in his little blue tights.
- Peter Parker: And what about his conscience? What is the point of having some kind of special power if you don't use it to help people?
- Peter Parker: [about J.J. Jameson] How mad is he?
- Rita Conway: What's the maddest you've ever seen him?
- Peter Parker: Eh, the time he sent his shoes down to be shined and somebody stole them.
- Rita Conway: Worse.
- Peter Parker: Excuse me, Sir, you say you saw Spider-Man right here in this lab?
- Security Guard: No, on the roof!
- Captain Barbera: What difference does it make? Who else whould come in the window?
- Gale Hoffman: Most cat burglars come in windows.
- Inspector DeCarlo: In theory, just two kilo's of Plutonium Oxide could cause millions of cases of lung cancer.
- Captain Barbera: Okay, stop it, you're scaring me.
- Inspector DeCarlo: I mean to!
- Captain Barbera: What's bugging you?
- Gale Hoffman: Well, Peter got a call from a man who said he was John Ashton-Smith. He wanted to interview him for the news as a student spokesman. And after we got there, they tried to kidnap us.
- Inspector DeCarlo: Kidnap you? Why?
- Peter Parker: Well, they thought I had something to do with the missing plutonium.
- Captain Barbera: Oh, that's funny, we had the same idea!