- Peter Parker: You're displaying Rava, the Kalistani God of Death?
- Security Guard: [chuckles] That thing has the ugliest face I've ever seen. How can anybody get down and worship a thing like that?
- Peter Parker: Maybe they're afraid not to?
- Peter Parker: [pointing at a picture of Mandak] Every time he's around, something bad happens.
- Captain Barbera: Really? I could say the same thing about you.
- J. Jonah Jameson: You did an excellent job, Captain.
- Captain Barbera: Why thank you, sir. I'd like to take all the credit, but I have to admit I couldn't have pulled it off without Spider-Man.
- Peter Parker: Oh, well, he'd be delighted to hear you say that, Captain, you mind if the Bugle quotes you on that?
- J. Jonah Jameson: Not on your life! I'm not giving any recognition to some freak who runs around in a red and blue union suit!
- Captain Barbera: [Spidey has saved Captain Barbera from being crushed between a car and a truck] Thanks, I'd've been a Barbera sandwich.
- Spider-Man: If I hadn't pulled out the baloney!
- Professor John Rustin: Jonah, I think we should cancel the exhibit. That idol is a religious symbol to these Kalistanies. We don't have the right...
- J. Jonah Jameson: [interrupting] Right? We have more than a right! We have a contract with the legitimate government of Kalistan!
- Rita Conway: You know, the last guy that got 50 bucks outta Mr. High Roller that easily, was the guy that mugged him in Central Park last summer.