- Dick Solomon: Right. And how many times do I get to vote?
- Volunteer: One time.
- Dick Solomon: And it doesn't matter that I'm brilliant?
- Volunteer: No.
- Dick Solomon: Have you noticed how tall I am?
- Volunteer: We all get one vote.
- Dick Solomon: So your opinion counts equally with mine?
- Volunteer: You got it.
- Dick Solomon: You're awfully smug for a man who works at a folding table.
- Dr. Mary Albright: Okay. Let's move on to the candidates. This should be a no-brainer. City Council District 9... Harry Solomon.
- Dr. Dick Solomon: [spoken long and slow, as if he's not so sure] Yeaauuuhh...
- Dr. Mary Albright: What? Don't tell me you're voting for Gansmiller.
- Dr. Dick Solomon: Don't tell me you're voting for Harry.
- Dr. Mary Albright: Well, yes. I'm voting for Harry!
- Dr. Dick Solomon: Then you're voting wrong!
- Dr. Mary Albright: There's no such thing as voting wrong.
- Dr. Dick Solomon: Yes, there is. You're doing it! You're making a mockery of this whole election by voting wrong!
- Dr. Mary Albright: It's my vote. I get to use it any way I want!
- Dr. Dick Solomon: What's the point of having a democracy if people go around voting wrong?
- Dr. Mary Albright: In my opinion, democracy is doing just fine the way it is!
- Dr. Dick Solomon: Well, your opinion is wrong!
- Dr. Dick Solomon: I have only 2 choices for City Council: a professional liar and my brother, the joke! Neither of them should even be running for office. There is no choice! My only choice is not to vote at all! Democracy is horrible. Absolutely horrible!
- Dr. Mary Albright: You're so right! Democracy is the worst form of government there is... except for all of the others! And that is exactly why you have to vote!
- Dr. Dick Solomon: No!
- Dr. Mary Albright: Yes!
- Dr. Dick Solomon: Nooooo!
- Dr. Mary Albright: Yessssss!
- Dr. Mary Albright: If you don't vote, you can't complain.
- Dr. Dick Solomon: Complaining is all I have left!
- Mrs. Dubcek: You could learn from this lesson, Sally. Never date a guy if he's not good to his wife and kids.
- Officer Don: Sometimes a wrinkle runs through the city, and it rears up on its haunches, like an ugly monkey ready to strike.
- Sally Solomon: Oh, Don! You always have your finger up the pulse of danger!
- Harry Solomon: [Explaining political advertising] Let me talk to you like you're a two-year-old: you know how when they show you a commercial about Cheerios, and they keep showing you Cheerios, and you REALLY want Cheerios?... Do we have any Cheerios?
- Dr. Dick Solomon: Why should I vote for Frank Gansmiller, Frank?
- Frank Gansmiller: Good question, Dick! You see, I want to take money out of the pockets of drug dealers and give it back to the people.
- Dr. Dick Solomon: He's RIGHT! I want some of that drug money!