Sheriff Morrison:
God is for Sunday, Frank. Today we pray to Nike. Run!
Dr. Frank Abernathy:
Do either of you have kids? Let me enlighten you. If you have a boy you only have to worry about one... weiner. You have a girl, you worry, oh you do, about every weiner in the hot dog cart, okay?
Dr. Frank Abernathy:
What the hell did you do to my daughter? I swear, if you gave her the weed, I will neuter you!
Simon Abernathy:
The monkey's a guy!
Dr. Frank Abernathy:
We have an alien possessed mammoth on the loose and if don't stop it the government is going to kill all of us.
Simon Abernathy:
[
laughs hysterically] ... That's cute.
Dr. Frank Abernathy:
We've got an alien-controlled mammoth on the loose here, and if we don't kill it the government is going to blow us all up.
Dr. Frank Abernathy:
Can I be frank with you?
Agent Powers:
You are, Frank.
Dr. Frank Abernathy:
I know!
Sheriff Morrison:
[
Shocked as attempt to stop creature fails] Son of a bitch!
Dr. Frank Abernathy:
Dear God!
Sheriff Morrison:
God is for Sunday Frank. Today we pray to Nike. Run!
Dr. Frank Abernathy:
I'm no hero.
Agent Powers:
Heroes aren't made Frank, they're cornered!
Floyd:
[
after putting severed, frozen, alien possessed, human hand in the microwave oven] The popcorn setting works best!
Agent Powers:
...
[
your grandfather's]
Agent Powers:
... frozen, all of his vitals are normal; a kind of suspended animation.
Jack Abernathy:
Well, 'The Empire Strikes Back' was always his favorite movie!
[
referring to Han Solo being frozen in said film]
Jack Abernathy:
.
Sheriff Morrison:
[
to the men in black] , And just what is your jurisdiction?
Agent Whitaker:
[
while flashing badge] Earth
Dr. Frank Abernathy:
[
after missing daughter's b-day] So what do I do?
Simon Abernathy:
Stop being a wienie!
Dr. Frank Abernathy:
Don't say wienie.
Jack Abernathy:
My father is defective.
Dr. Frank Abernathy:
Milkshakes for everyone! Not her, she gets nothing.
Dr. Frank Abernathy, Agent Powers:
[
after his father, Simon mumbles something incoherent] 'What?'
Agent Powers:
He said 'Don't trust these government stooges,' in pig latin. Does he suffer from dementia?
Dr. Frank Abernathy:
I wish!
Simon Abernathy:
Don't get her pregnant on the first date son!
Dr. Frank Abernathy:
Ok. See you later, dad.
Deputy Bud:
[
examining body in the road] . He looks like he had his insides sucked out his nose or something...
Deputy Dino:
Well the sheriff said we'd see something peculiar out here.
Deputy Bud:
What's that supposed to mean?
Deputy Dino:
Oh, shut up!
Deputy Bud:
[
while hunting the giant, killer mammoth in the dark woods] Hey D, ya think there's any spiders out here?
Deputy Dino:
You're afraid of spiders?
Related Links
*
