Wristcutters: A Love Story (2006)
Shea Whigham: Eugene
Photos
Quotes
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Eugene : I'm not sitting in the back.
Zia : Why not?
Eugene : 'Cause everybody knows guy in the back seat doesn't have a cock.
Zia : What?
Eugene : That's a fact. If the guy in the backseat had a cock, he wouldn't be back there in the first place.
[Mikal scroffs]
Zia : Well, I... I mean, I got a cock man. So, how can... I'm not... Mik, do you have a cock?
Mikal : Yeah, I have a cock.
Zia : Wut?
Mikal : Big fat one.
[cut to the shot in which Eugene is sitting in between Zia and Mikal in front]
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Eugene : Cute? That's what they say about the puppy. The only thing worse is good friend, or nice person. In plain English it means I'll leech off you as long as I can, but don't even think about getting into my pants.
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Eugene : [about Desiree] Wherever she is, I bet she found someone by now. Probably some black guy who hanged himself by his dick.
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Eugene : Let me put this way. Since you got here, how many times did you get laid, man?
Zia : Why?
Eugene : Just a question.
Zia : Actually laid?
Eugene : Yes.
Zia : None, I think.
Eugene : You think?
Zia : None! But what's that got to do with any of this?
Eugene : Plenty. 'Cause your sperm count is so high, you think you're having an out of body experience like nobody in the fucking universe, man.
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Eugene : I live with my patents and my kid brother Kostya.
Zia : You're fucking with me.
Eugene : I'm not fucking with you.
Zia : I've never heard of a whole family here before.
Eugene : Mom... offed because she was missing Russia a lot. And my father, he just didn't feel like going on without her. But, what really did it for him was my little brother turning out to be gay.
Zia : And your kid brother?
Eugene : Kostya?
Zia : Kost... ya.
Eugene : I guess, he had it in his genes, man.
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[Kid Kostya is going to hang himself]
Eugene : Step down from the table.
Kid Kostya : No. First tell me.
Eugene : Step down from the table and I'll tell you.
[Kostya removes the rope from his neck and steps down from the table]
Eugene : [Eugene slaps him hard, so he falls on the floor]