Mac:
What's up, bitches?
Charlie Kelly:
Why don't I strap on my job helmet and squeeze down into a job cannon and fire off into Jobland where jobs grow on little jobbies.
Charlie Kelly:
Alright, let's go get some men!
[
repeated lines, said in no specific order]
Mac:
Absolutely.
Charlie Kelly:
Absolutely.
Dennis Reynolds:
Absolutely.
Charlie Kelly:
I know that game.
Charlie Kelly:
Oooh shit... Look at the door, dude. You see that door right there? The one marked pirate? You think a pirate lives in there?
Charlie Kelly:
What are you gonna do, hit him? No, that's a terrible idea, I'll tell you why: it doesn't unbang your mom.
Dennis Reynolds:
Whoa, what's up with the spray paint?
Charlie Kelly:
Uhh... what's up with the outfit man?
Dee Reynolds:
[
to Frank] Why can't you die and leave us your money?
Mac:
[
panicing] Guys, why aren't the brakes working?
Charlie Kelly:
Because I cut the brakes, wildcard bitches yeeee-ha!
[
Jumps out of truck]
Charlie Kelly:
Later dudes, S you in your A's Don't wear a C and J all over your B's
Charlie Kelly:
What are you?
Mac:
I never seen so many beautiful people in my life
Dennis Reynolds:
check it out even sweet dee is getting lucky
Charlie Kelly:
That dudes going to bang your sister bro
Charlie Kelly:
So what you want a maid?
Frank Reynolds:
That's right a maid, a maid I can bang
Dennis Reynolds:
What is this wolf hair?
Frank Reynolds:
Also inconclusive.
Dennis Reynolds:
Jesus Christ how is that inconclusive?
Mac:
If he's truly going to become an American he needs to obtain a credit card right?
Dennis Reynolds:
You guys need to build up his credit best way to do that is to acquire covvas amounts of debt, your doing this guy a favor right now
Charlie Kelly:
We're doing him a huge favor, being in debt is being American.
Dennis Reynolds:
Check this out
[
stretches his legs apart]
Charlie Kelly:
Good, that's good. And your not getting a high ride, huh?
Dennis Reynolds:
well I'm getting the high ride, but the jeans aren't restricting me.
Dennis Reynolds:
[
dressed like a black woman] You's a bunch of white boys right? Nows when you in the club and you be dancin' why you look so stu-pid?
Charlie Kelly:
[
as greenman] comes and throws a ball at her face and runs away
Charlie Kelly:
When was the last time we played night crawlers together Frank?
Dennis Reynolds:
Uhh. What's what's that?
Charlie Kelly:
Well, it's... not about you. Why don't you just write it down?
Mac:
God your disgusting, a disgusting animal.
Mac:
I think you should bang Gail the snail
Frank Reynolds:
My neice?
Mac:
Yeah
Frank Reynolds:
Gail the Snail?
Mac:
Dude what's more depraved than that huh? So she's not blood related so it's not that weird.
Charlie Kelly:
You did your best, no hard feelings! I'm going to grab some of this literture on my way out too.
Dennis Reynolds:
She didn't do that great of a job.
Charlie Kelly:
I mean don't beat her while she's down man
Charlie Kelly:
But I do feel like she tried the intervention on us
Dennis Reynolds:
are you intervening us is that what that was?
[
pause]
Dennis Reynolds:
you know what I'm feeling I'm feeling like you've lost control of the room here. When really we're the ones who are running things here
Dee Reynolds:
I've lost my trust in you, I feel like we can do this on our own.
Dennis Reynolds:
I think we can do the intervention on our own without her.
Charlie Kelly:
Do you guys think?
Dee Reynolds:
[
turns to Charlie] Yeah
Charlie Kelly:
Alright, might as well give it a shot.
Donna:
Your thirty three years old your supposed to be sexually active! Your not supposed to be fondling your uncle under the table
Charlie Kelly:
But I am who I am
Mac:
Yeah let's pretend you aren't who you are and just try to attract a woman.
Dennis Reynolds:
What are your dislikes?
Charlie Kelly:
Peoples knees
Dennis Reynolds:
Oh come on!
Mac:
Bro you got be kidding ,you know what we'll make it up
Dennis Reynolds:
We'll make the whole thing up
[
Looks at Charlie]
Dennis Reynolds:
We're not even going to use you!
Charlie Kelly:
Cover you knees up if your going to be walking around everywhere.
Dee Reynolds:
Is it a yes or a no because your kind of holding up traffic here It's just - it's rude.
Dennis Reynolds:
How much cheese have you eaten today?
Charlie Kelly:
How much cheese is too much cheese?
Dennis Reynolds:
Any amount of cheese before a date is too much cheese!
Charlie Kelly:
I had a lot of cheese, I had a block of cheese.
Mac:
You had a block of cheese?
Charlie Kelly:
I got really, really nervous I just started eating cheese
Mac:
[
annoyed and confused] Does that calm you down?
Mac:
I have an idea.
Frank Reynolds:
[
Turns in fear] Where did you come from?
Mac:
Frank I've been walking next to you this entire time
Charlie Kelly:
I'm gonna kick some ass! I'm gonna rise up, gonna kick a little ass! Rock, flag, and eagle!
Charlie Kelly:
[
talking about the waitress] She got a job at the fair I can probably stalk her there.
Related Links
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