Al Gore:
Finally, I get to save the Earth with deadly laser blasts instead of deadly slide shows!
Leela:
What's the secret of time travel doing on Fry's ass?
Fry:
It was bound to be somewhere!
Nibbler:
Everyone, out of the universe!
Amy Wong:
Look at us, living like trash-eating bums in an alley now.
Zoidberg:
Yes... Now...
Hermes Conrad:
And that's why they call me 11-inch Conrad.
Bender:
I support and oppose many things, but not strongly enough to pick up a pen.
Lars:
Hello, everyone who isn't Leela. And a special hello to everyone else.
[
last lines]
Bender:
Well, we're boned.
[
Nibbler finishes removing the timecode from Fry's butt with a laser]
Nibbler:
Finished. I've managed to save the universe and forty percent of your rectum.
[
everyone cheers]
Bubblegum Tate:
That's all you need.
Al Gore:
Dang. That hundred dollars could have gotten me... one gallon of gas!
[
dramatic chord]
Bender:
You know its funny...
Fry:
What?
Bender:
Your wiener! haha
[
Leela and Lars share an intimate kiss in the Hall of Screaming Skulls]
Leela:
Let's go to my place.
[
cut to an outside shot of Leela's apartment building. A wrecking ball razes the building]
Lars:
I... like what you've done with it.
[
everyone is huddled in a giant rock igloo on Neptune after the scammer aliens have taken over the Earth]
Bender:
Rrrrr... it's so cold, my processor is running at peak efficiency!
Leela:
What are you, a whining machine? If you want to worry about something, worry about the Yetis.
Zoidberg:
Jedis?
[
a chorus of howling Yetis is heard from a distance]
Zoidberg:
Oh... YETIS!
Professor Farnsworth:
Amy - you speak Yeti - what are they saying?
Amy Wong:
I'm not sure, but it sounds like something to do with... assaulting the interlopers!
[
a trio of giant Yetis smashes through the side of the rock igloo; everyone screams and scatters while Leela runs towards them]
Leela:
Yeee-ah! Don't mess with me you ice-crapping snow honkys. I just got dumped!
[
the Yetis flee in terror as Leela chases after them with a primitive spear]
Hermes Conrad:
Sweet Yeti of the Serengeti! She's gone crazy Eddie in the heady!
Bender:
I don't tell you how to tell me what to do, so don't tell me how to do what you tell me to do.
[
Hermes realizes that Zoidberg attached his head to his body backwards]
Hermes Conrad:
You incompetent crab!
Zoidberg:
I thought you were happy. Your tail is wagging.
Hermes Conrad:
Kiss my front-butt!
Professor Farnsworth:
I can wire anything directly into anything! I am the Professor!
Nudar:
You've got no code, no porn, and you're ugly. Let's dance!
Lars:
Sir, you're just a little enraged 'cause you're dying.
Nudar, Shlump, Fleb:
[
singing] Na, na, na, na! Na, na, na, na! Hey, hey, hey! We took your stuff!
Barbados Slim:
Cruel runnings, man. Hahahaha!
Bubblegum Tate:
Man, that cube-root was a real buzzlebeater Clyde!
Professor Farnsworth:
If Hermes were here, he'd fire you all!
Hermes Conrad:
I am here.
Professor Farnsworth:
Quiet, you!
Bender:
Not so neutral now, are you, Sweden?
Nudar:
Nice attack, doodoo heads!
Barbados Slim:
You haven't seen the last of Barbados Slim! Now goodbye forever!
Professor Farnsworth:
Yes? I see.
[
hangs up phone]
Professor Farnsworth:
Good news, everyone! Those asinine morons who canceled us were themselves fired for incompetence.
[
the crew cheers]
Professor Farnsworth:
And not just fired, but beaten up, too... and pretty badly.
[
the crew cheers doubtfully]
Professor Farnsworth:
In fact, most of them died from their injuries.
[
the crew remains silent while Bender laughs evilly]
Professor Farnsworth:
And then they were ground up into a fine pink powder.
Fry:
Why?
Professor Farnsworth:
Oh, it's got a million and one uses.
[
Takes some Torgo's Powder and sprinkles it in his pants]
Professor Farnsworth:
Aw, that soothes the fire.
Leela:
[
referring to both the numerous air conditioners and the admirers of Futurama] So what does this mean for us and our many fans?
Professor Farnsworth:
It means we're back on the air!
[
the crew is still silent]
Professor Farnsworth:
Yes, flying on the air in our mighty spaceship!
[
the crew cheers wildly]
Bender:
We're back, baby!
Professor Farnsworth:
I'm sciencing as fast as I can!
[
Bender's time paradox duplicate prepares to terminate Fry]
Bender:
Hasta la vista, meatbag!
Nudar:
You, Booger-Bot, read the code or I'll shoot this guy!
Bender:
Who the hell is he?
Scruffy:
I'm Scruffy... the janitor.
Bender:
Hang on, Scruffy!
Hermes Conrad:
Without my body, I'm a nobody!
Leela:
[
Bender returns from time travel and steals... ] The Mona Lisa!
Bender:
Sorry, it's not quite finished.
Shlump:
Da Vinci give you any trouble?
Bender:
Let's just say he might not make it to "The Last Supper".
Professor Farnsworth:
Time travel is impossible!
Fry:
But Professor, you time traveled yourself. Remember? When we went back to Roswell?
Professor Farnsworth:
That proves nothing! And furthermore, you'd think I could remember a thing like that! Plus, who are you anyway?
Amy Wong:
Ahh, don't blame yourself, Bender.
Bender:
I don't blame myself. I blame all of you!
Amy Wong:
Us? How could you possibly blame us?
Bender:
It ain't easy. It just proves how great I am.
Zapp Brannigan:
We fight this battle not for ourselves, but for our children, and our children's children, which is why I'm forming a children's brigade.
Lars:
[
to Zapp Brannigan] Admiral, will we stop attacking at any point? Or is this one of those phony bologna feel-good wars like the War on Drugs?
Bender:
Here's your Guttenberg Bible, masters, plus the Colonel's secret recipe: "Chicken, grease, salt".
Nibbler:
Alas our kitten-class attack ships were no use for their mighty chairs. The universe is doomed! Doomed!
Fry:
Can I pull up my pants now?
Nibbler:
Dooooooooooooooooooooomed!
Fry:
So my copy lived 12 years longer before Bender killed him? I wonder what his life was like.
Scruffy:
Hmm, I guess we'll never know.
Zoidberg:
Or *will* we?
[
pause]
Scruffy:
Nope.
Narrator:
[
to audience] *They* won't know! But you *will*! Lucky you!
Bender:
[
Bender falls out of sky, get's up, looks around] Awww, I lost him, people will call me a failure.
Bender:
[
notices Fry in the upstairs window of Panucci's Pizza] Others however will call me the World's Sexiest Killing Machine, that's fun at parties.
Turanga Munda:
Our little girl is finally getting married, and to a normal two-eyed human.
Turanga Morris:
Eh, he's not good enough for her. Leela deserves a guy with a dozen eyes.
Turanga Munda:
Quit trying to fix her up with Fly Mutant!
Bender:
Sweet photons. I don't know if you're waves or particles, but you go down smooth.
Dr. Shlavinowitz:
Leelu is a rare toothed female narwhal who got disoriented and washed up in Atlantic City, as we all do from time to time.
Fry:
That's it. I don't see how things could get any worse
Bender:
We could sing.
Professor Farnsworth:
I'd rather kill myself.
Amy Wong:
Why not do both?
Professor Farnsworth:
Oh, very well.
Related Links
*
