The Simpsons Movie (2007)
Harry Shearer: Scratchy, Mr. Burns, Rev. Lovejoy, Ned Flanders, Lenny, Skull, President Arnold Schwarzenegger, Kent Brockman, Principal Skinner, Dr. Hibbert, Smithers, Toll Booth Man, Guard, Otto, Kang
Photos
Quotes
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Russ Cargill : Anyone can pick something when they know what it is; It takes real leadership to pick something you're clueless about.
President Schwarzenegger : Ok, I pick 3!
Russ Cargill : Try again.
Russ Cargill : Go higher.
Russ Cargill : Too high.
Russ Cargill : You already said 3.
Russ Cargill : There is no 6.
Russ Cargill : Double it.
Russ Cargill : As you wish, sir.
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Ned Flanders : Ok, boys, when you meet Jesus, be sure to call Him Mr. Christ.
Todd Flanders : Will Buddha be there?
Ned Flanders : No.
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Russ Cargill : [enters the Oval Office] President Schawarzenegger.
President Schwarzenegger : Ja. That is me.
Russ Cargill : The pollution in Springfield has reached crisis levels.
President Schwarzenegger : Ach! Everything is "crisis this" and "end-of-the-world that"! No one opens with a joke! I miss Danny DeVito.
Russ Cargill : You like jokes, huh? Well, stop me if you've heard this one.
[holds up cage with the mutant squirrel]
President Schwarzenegger : [gasp] Look at all those angry eyes and pointy teeth! It's like Christmas at the Kennedy Compound!
Russ Cargill : Mr. President, you chose me, Russ Cargill, most successful man in America, to head the EPA, the least successful government agency. Why did I take the job? Because I'm just a rich guy who wants to kick some ass for good old Mother Earth. I want to give something back. Not the money, but something. That's why I've narrowed your choices down to five unthinkable options.
[spreads the files on the President's desk]
Russ Cargill : Each one will cause untold misery and...
President Schwarzenegger : [points to File #3] I pick Number Three!
Russ Cargill : Really? You don't want to read them first?
President Schwarzenegger : I was elected to *lead*, not to *read*. Number Three!
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Ned Flanders : Thank you, Lord, for this bountiful...
[screams as Bart is plastered, naked against the window of the restaurant]
Ned Flanders : PENIS!
Rod Flanders , Todd Flanders : [devoutly] ... bountiful penis.
Todd Flanders : Amen.
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Bart Simpson : You know, we are on the roof. We could have some fun.
Homer Simpson : What kind of fun?
Bart Simpson : How bout a dare contest?
Homer Simpson : That sounds fun. I dare you to... climb the T.V. antennae.
Bart Simpson : [Bart climbs it easily] Piece of cake.
Homer Simpson : [starts shaking the antennae] Earthquake!
[Bart falls off and hangs onto the railing]
Homer Simpson : [starts shaking the railing] Aftershock!
Ned Flanders : Uh, Homer, I don't mean to be a nervis-pervis or anything, but if he falls, couldn't that make your boy a parapleg-a-rino?
Homer Simpson : Shut up, Flanders!
Bart Simpson : Yeah, shut up, Flanders!
Homer Simpson : Well said, boy.
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Ned Flanders : The Good Lord is telling me to confess to something...
Homer Simpson : [whispering hopefully, with his fingers crossed] Gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay...
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Toll Booth Man : Welcome to Alaska. Here's a thousand dollars.
Homer Simpson : Well, it's about time! But why?
Toll Booth Man : We pay every resident a thousand dollars to allow the oil companies to ravage our state's natural beauty.
Homer Simpson : [hugs toll booth man] I'm home!
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Ned Flanders : Bart! Crawl across. Hurry.
Bart Simpson : But if they see you helping us, they'll kill you.
Ned Flanders : I'm sure your father would do the same for...
[Bart just stares at him]
Ned Flanders : Point taken. Now, hustle your bustles.
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Montgomery Burns : [during credits] Smithers... I don't believe in suicide, but if you'd like to try it, it might cheer me up to watch.
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Mayor Quimby : I hereby declare a state of emergency: Code Black.
Lenny : Black? That's the worst color there is.
[Lenny turns to Carl, his black friend]
Lenny : No offense there, Carl.
Carl : I get it all the time.
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Montgomery Burns : So, you want some of my electricity, do you? Well, for once, the rich, white man is in control. I have two buttons behind my desk. One will provide your town with power, the other releases the hounds. Reach me. Make me your brother.
Dr. Hibbert : The hospital's generator is about to give out. Lives will be lost.
Montgomery Burns : [writing down] Lives... lost. Go on.
Chief Wiggum : We have a convict we're gonna fry tomorrow, but now we can't.
Montgomery Burns : Tempting, tempting...
Apu : Look, all of our reasons mean nothing. Just look inside your heart and you will find the answer.
[Smithers waves frantically and shakes his head no; cut to outside of mansion as screaming and barking is heard inside]
Apu : Aaah!
Montgomery Burns : First door on the right.
Apu : Thank you.
Dr. Hibbert , Chief Wiggum , Apu : [as they run out chased by dogs] Aaah!
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[first lines]
Scratchy : [having just landed on the Moon] We come in peace for cats and mice everywhere.
[Itchy impales and beats Scratchy with flag pole]
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Lisa Simpson : Our crisis level will be here.
Lenny : That's not so bad.
Lisa Simpson : No, this forklift is messed up.
[the forklift goes crazy until it is back to normal]
Lisa Simpson : Am I getting through to anyone?
Krusty the Clown : Hell yeah, we need a new one of those things!
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[the police have just found Homer's pig crap silo, which is marked "Return to Homer Simpson"]
Kent Brockman : Now, Channel 6 does not endorse vigilante violence. Unless it gets results... which it *will*.
[a picture of Homer appears in the upper-right hand corner]
News Text : [flashing] GET HIM!
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Kent Brockman : Kent Brockman here reporting on a crisis so serious it has its own name and theme music.
[graphic shows the domed Springfield on a styrofoam cup labeled "Trappuccino" as ominous music plays]
Kent Brockman : The dome has put an end to life as we know it. The town is running low on supplies of everything from gasoline to Botox.
[Kent's face droops]
Kent Brockman : Moment, please.
[clips skin on back of neck]
Kent Brockman : And, as always, we end our broadcast with news on the lighter side.
[the words "The Lighter Side" appear on the same small screen as the Trappuccino graphic did]
Kent Brockman : It's the time of year when the swallows return to Springfield.
[cut to swallows crashing into dome, as hungry cats await below]
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Homer Simpson : [noticing a glow] Uh, what's that ominous glow in the distance?
Angry Mob : [wielding torches] Kill, kill, kill, kill, kill, kill, kill, kill, kill, kill...
Homer Simpson : [looking out the window] Marge, look! Those idiots don't even know where we *live*!
Angry Mob : [looking round, seeing Homer] Kill, kill, kill, kill...
Homer Simpson : D'oh!
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Russ Cargill : My name is Russ Cargill and I'm the head of the EPA.
Moe : The what?
Russ Cargill : Environmental Protection Agency.
Lenny : Come again?
Russ Cargill : Look, I'm a man on a big TV. Just listen.
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Kent Brockman : [At Moe's Tavern, the bar patrons and Moe look at the television when the power goes out] Day 37 under the dome. We are facing intermittent power failures which...
Moe : [the lights come back on, all the booze has been stolen off the shelves and the patrons have disappeared] Okay, very funny. I'm gonna turn the lights off again. When they come back on, I want all my booze back the way it was.
[switches light off, then turns it back and sees that all of his other necessities including his clothing have been looted. He's only in his underwear]
Moe : Yeah, okay. Okay...
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Ned Flanders : Look at that, you can see the four states that border Springfield: Ohio, Nevada, Maine, and Kentucky!
Bart Simpson : Oh yeah.
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Todd Flanders : I wish Homer was my father.
Ned Flanders : ...and I wish you didn't have the devil's curly hair.
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Ned Flanders : [surprised by the pink mutated multi-eyed squirrel] Well, this certainly seems odd, but, heh, who am I to question the work of the Almighty? Oh, we thank you Lord for this mighty fine intelligent design! Good job!
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Skull : Evil.
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Ned Flanders : [Bart is sitting up in the tree near Flanders' house] How 'bout I fix you some cocoa?
Bart Simpson : No way, cocoa's for wusses.
Ned Flanders : Well sir, if you change your mind, it's on the windowsill!
[Flanders squirts whipped cream on top, places the mug on the windowsill, puts a wafer in the mug, shaves chocolate on top, squirts a dollop of whipped cream on top of the wafer, adds a marshmallow to the top, melts the mallow with a food torch, and walks away]
Bart Simpson : [Bart sneaks over to the windowsill, grabs the mug from the coaster, climbs down from the tree, goes over by the fence and takes a drink from the mug] Oh my god.
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[after Itchy has killed Scratchy on the moon, returned home a hero and was elected President, he looks out the White House window]
Scratchy : Itchy... Itchy...
[Itchy grabs binoculars to see Scratchy's remains on the moon, holding a sign that says, "I'M TELLING."]
