The Simpsons Movie (2007)
Nancy Cartwright: Bart Simpson, Maggie Simpson, Ralph Wiggum, Nelson Muntz, Todd Flanders, TV Daughter, Woman on Phone
Photos
Quotes
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Bart Simpson : [on the blackboard, in the open sequence] I will not illegally download this movie.
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Ned Flanders : Ok, boys, when you meet Jesus, be sure to call Him Mr. Christ.
Todd Flanders : Will Buddha be there?
Ned Flanders : No.
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[Bart puts a black bra on his head]
Bart Simpson : [in the voice of a cartoon mouse] I'm the mascot of an evil corporation!
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Ned Flanders : Thank you, Lord, for this bountiful...
[screams as Bart is plastered, naked against the window of the restaurant]
Ned Flanders : PENIS!
Rod Flanders , Todd Flanders : [devoutly] ... bountiful penis.
Todd Flanders : Amen.
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Bart Simpson : [blushing] Did you at least bring my clothes?
Homer Simpson : Shirt, socks, everything you need.
Bart Simpson : [covering up privates] You didn't bring my pants!
Homer Simpson : Who am I, Tommy Bahama?
Bart Simpson : [face is completely red, sobs] Oh, this is the worst day of my life.
Homer Simpson : The worst day of your life so far.
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Bart Simpson : You know, we are on the roof. We could have some fun.
Homer Simpson : What kind of fun?
Bart Simpson : How bout a dare contest?
Homer Simpson : That sounds fun. I dare you to... climb the T.V. antennae.
Bart Simpson : [Bart climbs it easily] Piece of cake.
Homer Simpson : [starts shaking the antennae] Earthquake!
[Bart falls off and hangs onto the railing]
Homer Simpson : [starts shaking the railing] Aftershock!
Ned Flanders : Uh, Homer, I don't mean to be a nervis-pervis or anything, but if he falls, couldn't that make your boy a parapleg-a-rino?
Homer Simpson : Shut up, Flanders!
Bart Simpson : Yeah, shut up, Flanders!
Homer Simpson : Well said, boy.
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[Bart claps]
Lisa Simpson : What are you doing, Bart?
Bart Simpson : Eh, just passing the time.
[Bart claps, snow repeatedly falls on Homer]
Homer Simpson : Aw, my boy loves Alaska so much, he's applauding it. Lisa, why aren't you clapping?
Lisa Simpson : But Dad!
Homer Simpson : [sternly] Clap for Alaska!
[Lisa claps along with Bart]
Homer Simpson : [Homer is buried under an avalanche]
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Homer Simpson : Okay, son. You have only one chance to throw that bomb through the hole.
Bart Simpson : Dad, in case I don't make it, I'm sorry I said I wish you weren't my dad.
Homer Simpson : I don't blame you, son. I've never been that good of a father. Maybe it all starts with the way my father raised me. Yes, it's all clear to me. It's all just been one long, unbroken chain of...
Marge Simpson : Somebody throw the goddamn bomb!
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Russ Cargill : [levels a shotgun at Homer and Bart]
Russ Cargill : Hello, Homer.
Homer Simpson : So, we meet at last, whoever you are.
Russ Cargill : There's a couple of things they don't teach you in Harvard Business School, one is how to cope with defeat, the other is how to handle a shotgun, I'm going to do both right now.
Bart Simpson : Wait! But if you kill my dad, you'll never know where the treasure is buried!
Russ Cargill : What treasure?
Bart Simpson : Uhm, the treasure of Ima Wiener.
Russ Cargill : I'm a wiener?
[Homer and Bart laugh]
Homer Simpson : Classic!
Russ Cargill : Well, always leave them laughing. Goodbye, sir.
[Cargill aims the shotgun, right as he is about to fire a boulder falls on him KOing him, the camera pans up to show Maggie]
Homer Simpson : Maggie! What a great little accident you turned out to be!
[Maggie winks and does a hand gun at Homer]
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Marge Simpson : Bart, are you drinking whiskey?
Bart Simpson : I'm troubled.
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Marge Simpson : Despite everything, I miss your father.
Bart Simpson : Me too... his big fat ass could shield us all.
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Bart Simpson : Look what I did to *your* picture!
[Bart holds up a picture of Homer, on which he has drawn Flanders-style hair, glasses and a mustache]
Homer Simpson : [screams]
Bart Simpson : Howdily-doodily! Howdily-doodily! Howdily-doodily!
Homer Simpson : Why you little...!
[Homer begins strangling Bart]
Homer Simpson : I'll strangle-angle you!
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Ned Flanders : Bart! Crawl across. Hurry.
Bart Simpson : But if they see you helping us, they'll kill you.
Ned Flanders : I'm sure your father would do the same for...
[Bart just stares at him]
Ned Flanders : Point taken. Now, hustle your bustles.
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Homer Simpson : All right, boy. Time for the ultimate dare. I dare you to skateboard to Krusty Burger... and back... *naked*.
Bart Simpson : How naked?
Homer Simpson : Fourth base.
Bart Simpson : But girls might see my doodle.
Homer Simpson : Oh, I see. Then I hereby declare you "chicken for life". Every morning you'll wake up to "Good morning chicken!" At your wedding, I'll sing...
Homer Simpson : [clucks the wedding march] Buck-buck-bu-buck!
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Homer Simpson : So, who wants waffles?
Bart Simpson , Grampa , Lisa Simpson : I do! I do! I do!
Marge Simpson : What about Grampa?
Bart Simpson : I want syrup!
Lisa Simpson : I want strawberries!
Marge Simpson : Shouldn't we be concerned about what happened in church?
Homer Simpson : I'll tell you what happened. A certain someone had a senior moment, but that's okay, because we love him anyway, and we got a free rug out of it.
[Kisses Grampa on the forehead]
Marge Simpson : What's the point of going to church every Sunday if when someone we love has a genuine religious experience we ignore it? Right, Grampa?
Grampa : I want bananas on my waffles.
Homer Simpson : I rest my case.
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Homer Simpson : I'll let you hold the bomb...
Bart Simpson : The man knows me!
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Tom Hanks : [voiceover in TV ad] Are you tired of the same old Grand Canyon?
TV Dad : [bored] Here we are kids. The Grand Canyon.
TV Daughter : Oh, it's so old and boring! I want a new one, *now!*
Tom Hanks : [appears from behind bush] Hello. I'm Tom Hanks. The US Government has lost its credibility, so it's borrowing some of mine.
TV Son : Tussle my hair, Mr. Hanks!
Tom Hanks : Sure thing, son.
[laughs as he does so. Stars come out of the boy's hair. He then smiles in wonder]
Tom Hanks : Now, I'm pleased to tell you about the new Grand Canyon.
[shot changes to that of a smouldering crater]
Tom Hanks : Coming this weekend! It's east of Shelbyville and south of Capital City.
Marge Simpson : [watching ad] That's where Springfield is!
Tom Hanks : It's nowhere near where anything is or ever was. This is Tom Hanks saying, if you're gonna pick a government to trust, why not this one?
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Lisa Simpson : [during end credits] It looks like Maggie has something to say!
Marge Simpson : Oh my God! Her first word!
Maggie Simpson : [takes pacifier out of mouth]
[pause]
Maggie Simpson : Sequel?
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Ralph Wiggum : [blowing bubbles at the dome] Take that!
[one of the bubbles pops in his eye]
Ralph Wiggum : Oh, no! Blow back!
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Lisa Simpson : [Lisa and Colin are pressing their hands against the glass] I never thought my life would have an absolutely perfect moment, but this...
Bart Simpson : [sing-song] Lisa's got a boyfriend / That she'll never see again!
[Lisa cold-cocks Bart]
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[Bart is skateboarding naked across town]
Ralph Wiggum : [brightly] I like men now.
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Bart Simpson : Boy, you made it! But how?
Santa's Little Helper : [subtitled] I did things no dog should. They will haunt me forever.
Bart Simpson : I love you too.
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[the wrecking ball dings the truck Marge, Lisa and Bart are in]
Bart Simpson : Did you hear something?
Lisa Simpson : Probably just a moth.
Marge Simpson : I hope it's okay.
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Martin : [walks up to bullies, picks up wooden board] I've been taking your crap all my life!
[beats the bullies in one swipe]
Dolph , Jimbo Jones , Kearney : Uggghh!
Martin : Whoo! This feels good! No wonder you do it.
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[Homer and Bart are at a table. We see an interior shot of Homer's mouth as he eats. Bart is angry]
Homer Simpson : Hey, what's with you?
Bart Simpson : You really wanna know?
Homer Simpson : Of course I do. What kind of father wouldn't care about
[sees something]
Homer Simpson : a pig wearing a hat!
[Krusty the Clown is filming a commercial]
Director : Action!
Krusty the Clown : Hey hey! It's your old pal Krusty for my new pork sandwich, the clogger! If you can find a greasier sandwich, you're in Mexico!
[He laughs and then takes a bite of the sandwich]
Krusty the Clown : Mmm!
Director : And... we're clear.
[Krusty spits out the sandwich]
Krusty the Clown : Perfect. Cut, print, kill the pig.
[a saw is held up to the pig. It squeals in terror]
Homer Simpson : [gasps] What? You can't kill him if he's wearing people clothes!
[the pig runs across to Homer, giving him a forlorn look. To the tune of 'Happy Together', Homer briefly imagines himself and the pig dancing in a field. He picks up the pig]
Homer Simpson : You're coming home with me.
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Bart Simpson : [drunkenly] Mom?
Marge Simpson : Yes honey?
Bart Simpson : You just bought another load of crap from the world's fattest fertilizer salesman.
Homer Simpson : You'll pay for ruining the golden family moment!
Marge Simpson : Homer!
Bart Simpson : How are we supposed to get to Alaska without any money?
Homer Simpson : Alright, son. If you don't believe me, believe in America!
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Bart Simpson : [drunk] I miss Flanders. There, I said it!
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Bart Simpson : I want a father who's the same in the morning as he is at night. Oh... what's that word...
Todd Flanders , Rod Flanders : Consistency?
Bart Simpson : Thanks losers.
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Bart Simpson : Let us out! Let us out!
EPA Official : Stop that! You'll scratch your shackles!
Bart Simpson : I hope I do!
[rubs shackles on cage, a gas then enters the truck]
Lisa Simpson : Oh way to go Bart!
Bart Simpson : [drugged] You stink.
Lisa Simpson : [even more drugged] No you stink.
[they both pass out]
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[watching the credits]
Bart Simpson : [to Homer] Come on, dad, let's go! I've been holding it since they put the dome on the town!
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Homer Simpson : Homer do good?
Bart Simpson : Actually, you've doomed us all. Again.
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Ned Flanders : Look at that, you can see the four states that border Springfield: Ohio, Nevada, Maine, and Kentucky!
Bart Simpson : Oh yeah.
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Todd Flanders : I wish Homer was my father.
Ned Flanders : ...and I wish you didn't have the devil's curly hair.
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Bart Simpson : [poking mutant squirrel's eyes] Jab him-jab him-jab-jab-jab!
Male EPA Worker : Hey! Jab one more eye and it's a federal crime!
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Bart Simpson : Dad!
Homer Simpson : What seems to be the problem, officers?
Bart Simpson : Tell them you dared me to do it!
Chief Wiggum : If that's true, then you should be taking the rap here, not your son.
Homer Simpson : And what happens to me if it's my fault?
Chief Wiggum : You'll have to attend a one hour parenting class.
Homer Simpson : It was all his idea! He's out of control I tell ya! Oh, I'm at my wit's end!
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[Lisa and Colin are separated by the dome and are saying their good-byes]
Bart Simpson : [singing] Lisa's got a boyfriend, that she'll never see again!
[Lisa slugs him out]
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Ralph Wiggum : [after Bart skates by, naked] I like men now.
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Ned Flanders : [Bart is sitting up in the tree near Flanders' house] How 'bout I fix you some cocoa?
Bart Simpson : No way, cocoa's for wusses.
Ned Flanders : Well sir, if you change your mind, it's on the windowsill!
[Flanders squirts whipped cream on top, places the mug on the windowsill, puts a wafer in the mug, shaves chocolate on top, squirts a dollop of whipped cream on top of the wafer, adds a marshmallow to the top, melts the mallow with a food torch, and walks away]
Bart Simpson : [Bart sneaks over to the windowsill, grabs the mug from the coaster, climbs down from the tree, goes over by the fence and takes a drink from the mug] Oh my god.
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EPA Driver : There's something strange about that sop sign.
[Homer is seen driving to the EPA van in a wrecking ball crane to rescue his family, activates the wrecking ball to hit the van but barely touches it and makes a little tick of noise]
Bart Simpson : [gasps] What was that?
Lisa Simpson : Probably just a moth.
Marge Simpson : I hope it's okay.
[wrecking ball comes back to the crane and hits Homer, swinging him back to forth hitting a rock and a buliding called A Hard Place. Then the ball eventually stops swinging Homer and then drops him to the ground]
EPA Passenger : Look, we can't keep stopping at every sop, yeld or one vay sign. Just move along.
[drives away]
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Bart Simpson : You just bought another load of crap from the world's fattest fertilizer sales man!
